I Have A Dream

Pin It It's difficult to pinpoint what I want down to one thing. Most immediately, I want money.

I want to have the money to put a down payment on a house, and more than that, I want to make enough money that I can finally invest and get Barry his restaurant. The first in what I'm sure will be a long line of Feliciations restaurants, the concept of which is awesome, and has been planned for several years.

I guess that is what I truly want. Money. Or maybe I should say the freedom associated with money. Never having to deal with another boss on a power trip. Be able to travel. Be able to pay a babysitter so we can have a date once in a while. Finally be able to get married.

Beyond money, I want fame. I want to show the world that "Bipolar" is just a label that's been affixed because they didn't know how else to categorize our very special kind. I want a platform to push my ideas, and rally the troops. I want to be able to help people, the way Ellen and Oprah do. I want to improve the female condition in countries like Iraq through education of their women.

I want to do all the things I've always felt I was sent here to do.

As I sit here typing these words, it occurs to me. I want to be part of history. My whole life, I never wanted to be a statistic. So I don't want to leave this world just one of billions. I want to leave my mark, and to be remembered for the great things I did.

Is that totally vain?

5 Reasons Why My Home is Making Me Sick

Pin It That's it, I've had it.  This place has been my home for 6 years, I've lived here longer than I've ever been anywhere in my whole life.  But I just can't take it any more.

The first couple of years weren't so bad, but it's been pure hell ever since.

I have recently come to realize that this apartment is making me ill, and it's not even because of mould or any other disaster.

(Though I wouldn't be surprised if an inspection did reveal mould, we seem to get sick here a lot)



Here are the 5 reasons why my home is making me sick.

1. The Landlord is insane.
2. The first neighbours to live below me had two kids, and they would allow them to play basketball... on the ceiling (AKA my floor).  At some point, they got cockroaches, and they started crawling in through my bathroom.  I also watched a fruit peel rot over several months on their kitchen's window sill.
3. I ended up missing them when they were gone, because they were still better than the next people.  They had a 1000 watt base they would play all hours of the day and night, causing a constant vibration in my entire apartment.  He was a drunk, and they would get into terrible fights.  They were also constantly having parties, and the whole building would shake as they would slam the doors all night long.  The police were called in numerous times, but they kept on bothering us until the last day they lived there.  The current neighbour also has a hard time remembering he has neighbours and occasionally blasts the music way past acceptable levels, but thankfully, it isn't as frequent, and not all night.
4. Then there were the two young girls who used to throw wild parties all the time.  The building's doors would slam all night long, and once their friends set off the building's fire alarm because too many of them were smoking in the stairwell... at 3:00 AM.
5. The one that takes the cake is my newest neighbour: she has decided that it's too cold to smoke outside, and she doesn't want to smoke in her apartment, so she's going to sit in the hallway to smoke all winter... beside my door.  The worse thing is the freaking pot-pourri scented crap she sprays to mask the smoke.  It's so intense, I can't even breathe when I come up the steps.  I've been so nice to her, have given her food several times, and when I asked her nicely to stop, she pretty much told me to f-off.

"Ah ben Tabarn...!"  Excuse my French, when I'm really angry, my interjections come out in my mother tongue. ;)

That was my last freaking straw.  If I don't leave this building, I'm either going to strangle one of my neighbours or the landlord some day soon.

Let me tell ya, you have to think you're something pretty f-ing special to think that your apartment's too good to smoke in, but it's OK to disturb 15 other apartments.

These people cause me anxiety, make my blood pressure rise and are generally just ruining all semblance of quality of life we ever had here.  They have made me start to hate the home I loved so much.

It's time to go.

And good news!  I left the landlord a message yesterday asking if she'd let me out of my lease early, telling her I just didn't want to fight any more... with her or the neighbours.

She called back this morning, and the mere sound of the phone sent my heart racing and my whole body shaking.  I waited a full 15 minutes for my breath to calm down before listening to her message.  She was her usual psycho-bitch self, but she said "Yes Felicia, you can leave with pleasure..."

HAHA!  The pleasure's all mine, biotch.  My mental health will greatly improve when I don't have to deal with any of you people any more.  

Felicia

I Accepted My First Oscar Last Night

Pin It March 10, 2020

It's happened!  It has finally happened!  I accepted my first Oscar yesterday.  Me, Felicia-May Stevenson, from Buckingham, Quebec.  I've been watching for so long, revelling in the dresses, crying happy tears with the winners, imagining what it would be like to be in their place.

I don't have to imagine anymore, it's actually happened to me!  Who would have thought, back in 2011 when I started my first blog, that this is where it would lead me?  So many people had told me my dreams could come true, but it only became a reality on the day I decided to believe.

Things started happening so quickly for me after that first day.  I reached out to Britney Spears, as a fellow bipolar mother of 2 boys, and she followed me back on Google+.  I sat and stared in disbelief, unsure what to think, what it all meant, but in that moment I wept open tears, as it felt like a confirmation that I was finally on the right track, on the way to making my dreams come true.

It's been such a whirlwind since then! 

• More celebrities started to follow me and I met some wonderful friends online, both on Twitter and on Broowaha, and all of their encouragement helped me to keep on.
• I published my first e-book, a children's story I penned out in twenty minutes, and to my surprise, it became quite popular.  
• I turned it into a series and made good enough money to invest in other ventures I'd dreamed of, and help some friends and family the way I'd always wanted to.

One of the best days was when my agent called to tell me I'd been invited for an interview on The View!!!  

I'll never forget that moment, trying so hard to keep my cool on the phone as I jotted down some info... When I finally hung up, I screamed the loudest "Woohoo!" I'd ever screamed and my children and husband came running.  I knelt down to hug them, laughing and sobbing at the same time, telling them what had just happened.  I think my oldest was seven at the time.  They didn't really understand, but they got caught up in my excitement, and we stood there, jumping up and down for a good little while.

And now this!!!  I couldn't even believe I'd been nominated, and even as I sit here and stare at my golden Oscar sitting on my mantle, I can barely believe I actually heard the words "And the Oscar goes to: Felicia-May Stevenson" last night.  I cried like a baby on stage, not sure anyone understood a word beyond "Thaaaaaank Youuuuuuu" in my acceptance speech.  People at home probably thought the sound had cut off because at some point my voice reached an octave only dogs could hear.

It was an amazing evening, one of the best of my life.  The after parties were crazy, and after all this time, it's still really gets me that I could be hobnobbing with people I've admired for so long from so far.  Christina Aguilera was there, and after we'd had a few drinks, we actually broke out in song together at the table!!!  I don't think anyone could hear my voice over hers, but it was still possibly the single coolest moment of my entire life.

Or maybe it was when Brad and Angelina came over to congratulate me.  I know Brad's pushing 60 now, but he's still so damn hot.  Barry held my hand extra tight until he left our table, but he has nothing to fear, he's my lobster.  Brad's just fun to look at, that's all. ;)

The boys are 15 and almost 14 now, they were so excited when I called home.  My oldest gave me flack for sobbing like a child, but I know he was just kidding, as he knows I can't help it.  It's amazing how good my life has become, and all because I decided to make a change.  Because I decided to believe in myself and stop listening to all the negative voices, both interior and exterior that were telling me I couldn't do it.

It feels so good to have proven them wrong.  

Felicianation's empire is going strong, we just launched La Fée Licia cosmetics line and Barry's doing wonders with Felicitations, our restaurant chain.  We're expanding from Canada into 5 different states next year, and we're currently discussing our line of Barry's recipes!!!  My best friend Julie runs Teennation, a foundation we started to help homeless teens.   We're up to ten homes already, each housing 30 kids from 12-17!  She's so great with them, gives so much of herself.  Actually our annual teen reunion is coming up... we're taking all the kids up to Wonderland, in Ontario.  We'll camp next to the grounds and spend the day at the park.  They're really excited because Drew Ryniewicz from x-factor fame is giving a concert the night before. We're only going to keep growing.

It's been 9 years since I started this journey, and I've made every impossible dream I've ever dreamt come true.  It hard to believe that I will turn 42 years old this year, but at least I can say I've made something of myself, and besides, my forties are way better than my twenties ever were.

;)

HAHA!

Much Love,

Felicia

 PS:  You can help make this all happen by sharing some link love... click share below! :)

UC Davis Protestors Pepper Sprayed

Pin It I'm shocked.  I'm outraged.  I'm disgusted.  I'm in disbelief.  I need a thesaurus to keep expressing my indignation over this event...

Photo by Louise Macabitas

Whether you live in Canada or The United States, you have the right to free speech.  You have the right to peaceful protest.

Or at least you were told you had those rights.  

Sometimes getting them respected is a little trickier.

On Friday, November 18, 2011, campus police at UC Davis University in California, openly and blatantly blasted a row of peaceful protesters with copious amounts of pepper spray.  This video depicts the event, with the crowd of onlookers chanting "shame on you" to the guilty officers.  The scene continues, showing the officers trying to forcibly remove the protesters, most of whom bravely stood (OK, sat) their ground.  I greatly admire their determination to have their voices heard, and refusal to be bullied.

The Chancellor of the university has ordered an investigation, following demands for her resignation.  She refuses to step down, stating she did nothing wrong and did not violate campus policies.  I wonder what her role was in this situation?  If none, then no, she should not be forced to resign, but the officers involved should definitely be terminated.  If she gave the order, I hope she is arrested.  Or perhaps she and the officers should be sprayed as well.  Wikipidia describes the effects of pepper spray as follows:

"Pepper spray is an inflammatory agent. It causes immediate closing of the eyes, difficulty breathing, runny nose, and coughing. The duration of its effects depends on the strength of the spray but the average full effect lasts around thirty to forty-five minutes, with diminished effects lasting for hours."

The video shows the spray to have been quite strong, some of the protesters having been taken to the hospital for treatment.  The officers stated that they felt their safety was in danger.  Really?  At what point?  When everyone sat down?  There are no words.

I recently wrote an article on Broowaha entitled "Stepping out of the Box", which discussed our complacency with the state of our countries, and how I wish we'd all stand up to make change happen.  I've also hinted at some point that I felt like the change that was required to turn our countries around would cause a civil war.

It chills me to the bone to see how right I was.

While no less revolting, this is the kind of behaviour I would expect from countries such as Egypt and Cuba, not the United States of America, to whom I feel closely connected, living only a few hours from the border and having been submersed in it's culture from early childhood.

EVERYONE knows it's a free country.  EVERYONE'S  heard the "dream" story.

Well, the dream is being gobbled up by the big businesses that control the government.

And if you try to protest against it, you will be brutalized.

I usually end my posts with "Much Love", but tonight, I wish you peace.

Felicia

PS: Much of my information came from a CNN article, check it out if you're looking for more details.