Nicole Scherzinger fails to save Rachel Crow on X Factor

Pin It Watching The X Factor tonight was just devastating.

I was already broken hearted last week when we lost my favourite, Drew Ryniewicz.  This is a video of her first audition, when she won my heart and that of many others, I'm sure:

Tonight, in the bottom two, were Marcus Canty and Rachel Crow.  Now I like Marcus Canty well enough.  He has a good voice and smile.  But he doesn't move me, you know?

Now Rachel, well Rachel Crow is 12 years old.  This girl doesn't just sing, she sangs!  She was gracious and lovely, and when she was in the bottom two tonight, she did her very best to keep her chin up and swallow her tears.

The two of them had to sing for survival, and while Marcus' performance was good, hers was phenomenal... as you can see for yourself by watching this video of Rachel's save me song "I'd rather be blind".  Notice how moved Paula and Nicole seem to be.

While she had given quite a few noteworthy performances throughout, this was definitely her crowning moment. She gave that song every last bit of emotion she was feeling and it was bone chilling good.  You wouldn't think this was coming from a twelve year old pre-teen.  I'm sure everyone thought she would be saved, including Marcus Canty, who seemed completely defeated after her performance.

WELL!!! When the time came to vote, LA Reid obviously went with Marcus, and Simon Cowell with Rachel, Paula Abdul joined Simon and it all came down to Nicole Scherzinger.  She sat there blubbering and copped out, refusing to send Marcus home, knowing full well she should, and sent it to deadlock, so it would be decided by the votes.

I guess she thought for sure that with Marcus having been in the bottom two for three weeks in a row that he would be going home, but you saw her face crumple when the words hit her and she realized what she'd just done.

I'm not happy with her.  I think she failed to do her job and took the cowards way out, and didn't do anyone any favours by doing so.  Rachel is young and her career will go on, but Marcus Canty will now forever be remembered as the guy who should have been sent home instead of Rachel Crow.

As for Nicole Scherzinger, I think it will take a while before the haters calm themselves, despite the fact that she looked totally heartbroken when she heard the results.

According to Marc Malkin, she will be releasing a new solo album shortly and is slated to perform one song on an up-coming episode of X Factor.  In Marc's article, she's quoted as saying: "I have the song in mind, but I never know if I'm going to change my mind depending on how I'm feeling".

I wonder if there's an "I'm sorry I acted like a coward and failed to do my job" song on that album? 

Watching Rachel Crow crumple to the floor after being told she was eliminated was heart wrenching, but part of me feels bad for all the backlash Nicole's getting as well.

There was an article somewhere showing her facebook page, and all of the incredibly hateful messages she was receiving.  Apparently there were death threats last week with Drew, I imagine there will be more this week with Rachel.  It's all a bit too extreme for my liking.

Was it a horrible decision? Yes.  Should she have millions of people sending her hate mail?  No.  Maybe just her boss. :)

Felicia

Bipolar Disorder and Employment

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There have been a few instances in the past 10 years where I have been discriminated against or mistreated in the workplace.  There are at least a couple of times I could have sued them.  There's even an organisation in my city that offers legal help to people with mental illness for this very purpose.  I never did it because I feared bringing so much attention to myself, and to the disorder that caused me so much pain, humiliation and heartache.

The worse place was a very popular restaurant I had always loved, and always wanted to work at.  The managers were insane and would start yelling at you randomly for no good reason.  I was a great waitress, my customers loved me.  I barely ever made mistakes ordering, and I was responsible, so it would always come as a complete shock to me when they would start yelling at me out of the blue, and I would almost invariably burst into tears.  They would then remove me from my shift, not wanting the customers to see me crying because, at they put it: "the clients look at you with a tear streaked face, and right away they assume the manager did something to you".  Hmm... I wonder why they would assume that?

I sat down with one of them one day and tried to explain my situation, asking him to please wait until the end of my shift if he was going to reprimand me like that, because it would probably always make me cry.  Well, the jerk was offended by this, and made it his personal mission in life to make my life miserable from then on.

One day, after having been sent home the night before for crying, the GM (general manager) tried to make me sign a paper stating that I understood that if I ever cried again while at work I would be fired.  I was OUTRAGED.  I yelled at him that this was completely illegal, and discriminatory, and asked if they were looking to get sued.  They continued to make my life hell until I finally had to quit.

There's a law in Quebec that allows you to still claim employment insurance if you quit for valid reasons, and newly added at the time was psychological harassment, which is what I stated and clearly described in my application.  Not surprisingly, when the case worker visited the restaurant, they had other employees lie for them and probably bribed her with a free lunch.  She ended up ruling in their favour, denying my benefits, and to add insult to injury told me I could probably be approved if I submitted a sick claim instead.

I was infuriated, and defeated.  They had been allowed to treat me like dirt, and I was being told I was the problem.  Even as I type these words, seven years after I left that hell, my eyes are tearing up as I dredge up the feelings of hurt and anger these events caused.

I have been denied promotions because of my disorder "Oh no Felicia, you can't be assistant manager, it's going to be too much for you to handle with your disorder".

Who the F are you to tell me what I can and cannot handle?

I have been the star employee in several places... until I started to get depressed.  Then the people who professed to love me turned on me quicker than milk on a counter.

I have been on disability now for close to a year, trying to get over my last work fiasco.

I have lost all sense of my own self worth, and the thought of going back sends me into fits of tears and panic attacks.

I have never wanted to be a poster child for my disorder.  But that is starting to change.  I think it's exactly what I should be.  I have a voice, and I can use it to draw attention to these injustices.  I can use it to help others who struggle as I do, and I can use it to help the rest of the world to understand our differences.

In the past couple of months since starting this blog, I have found a multitude of online friends suffering from the same afflictions and always willing to listen, or to offer encouragement.

A new visitor left a comment on my "So the truth about me is I have Bipolar Disorder" post today.  He told me that he's a teenager, and that he fears he may be in the same boat.  How he felt very alone, but that my post really touched on his own feelings, and that I had helped to show him that he isn't.

I want to do more of that.  I want to become successful so that I can show others struggling from the same afflictions that they just need to adjust their lives to suit their own needs, not the needs of others.

Felicia

PS: I've reached 40 Google connect followers this week... very exciting!  Thank you to all my readers, I appreciate your support more than words can say.  Yes, even for an awesome author such as myself ;)