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I had an appointment with my psychiatrist this week.
How draining.
He asked me what my biggest problem was at the moment. I told him it was anxiety. I am constantly worried about multiple things. I have been like this since I was a very young child, and still am today.
This anxiety affects me on multiple levels, as it leads to me not being able to sleep, which causes various body aches and pain, more migraines, feeling more irritable and impatient.
He feels like I've possibly bean misdiagnosed. He said that last time he had spoken to me, he had stamped me as bipolar, but couldn't really specify the type (OK, he didn't say stamped, but you get what I mean).
Now he feels that possibly the 5 psychiatrists I've seen before him were wrong, that my problem is more likely generalized anxiety disorder.
I agree that I most likely suffer from that disorder, but it's hard for me to swallow that I might not be bipolar after all.
I definitely get periods of hypomania. I'm high, super alert, engrossed in something or other, I talk too fast, my teeth chatter, I get shaky. I don't sleep and feel fine for days (until my body goes into shut down mode and gives me migraines that bring me to my knees in order to force a semi coma on me).
He's recommending my doctor add Seroquel to the Lamictal I'm already taking, which is suppose to help with anxiety and sleep. It can lead to weight gain, which I'm not too happy about, but if you follow the link above, you'll see a ton of other horrifying side effects to be considered. I suppose I'll start it and see what happens.
I'm willing to try anything at this point. My fears and anxiety have me paralyzed, and I'm stagnating instead of living. I suppose it would be better to be happy and chubbier that to keep feeling worthless and unproductive.
Much love,
Felicia
