197 posts. 199,247 page views, as of today. This will be 198.
So much has changed since I wrote that first post. I've changed so much.
When I first started writing, I was in a very bad place, and I felt very misunderstood. I needed to express myself, and blogging was a way to set the record straight, and made me feel like I'd gotten closure in certain situations and gained control in others. There was an outpouring of love and support from the online community, and I have made some lasting relationships. One of the best parts is that sometimes, I helped someone. Comments about thanking me for sharing, my story helping, them feeling less alone. You'd think that was the best part, but it's not.
The best thing this blog has done for me is to allow me to heal. By revealing my deep-down secret to the world, I finally took away my shame, and slowly began to see myself as a person instead of a mental health disorder. From the day I was diagnosed to the day I started this blog, I had stopped being me. For close to 9 years, I walked around feeling like nothing more than a label. Damaged goods.
I have gone from being on disability with my most severe depressive episode ever to starting my own three businesses. I still dream of big things, but I've learned to accept myself, and appreciate all that I already have.
Over the past couple of years, I have started to feel this quiet contentment, like I have a good life and I'm on a good path. I'm not really sure what the future holds, but I don't really worry about it anymore either. I've adopted a very "que sera sera attitude" towards life: I'll give it my all and the pieces will fall as they will!
I want to thank my readers for your support. Your comments and our interactions on social media have helped me grow, returned my self confidence and sense of self worth and helped me discover, accept and even... Love myself. Thank you just doesn't cover it.
There will be some new developments around here soon, so stay tuned for some news :)
Yay you! I love reading about overcoming obstacles and renewal in oneself. I too, started this blog because my emotions needed a voice and my soul needed to heal. Blogging save me from that black hole that sometimes, we fall into. Well, I didn't want to fall in because I didn't think I would ever find my way out. But like you, I did. So, continued success to you emotionally and spiritually. May your business ventures flourish and may your happiness spill over again and again. Happy Blogaversary! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Yvonne, for having been on this adventure with me. Writing has been very therapeutic for me, and I'm glad it's done the same for you. I think I'll be taking the blog in a completely different direction now, and I'm toying with writing a book about all of this. Just have to find the time! Thanks agains for your kind words, I'm really touched xxoo
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