I forgot to take my meds last night, and I only thought about it at like three AM, as I was laying in bed asking myself why the heck I couldn't get to sleep.
My mind was racing, but my body was crashed, as I lay there in a state of semi-consciousness, unable to muster the energy to go downstairs and take the pills, yet still unable to get the old brain to shut down. I eventually convinced myself that it was best if I just skipped them, as I would have had a very hard time waking up with the kids a mere four hours later.
So instead, I lay there all night, coming in and out of sleep in bouts of fifteen to twenty minutes, until I awoke definitively at seven, a full half hour before the alarm was set to go off.
I tried to nap this afternoon, but the same pattern ensued, and I got up out of annoyance. I had nausea and felt light headed this afternoon, and ended up ordering pizza, because I just couldn't bring myself to cook for the kids.
I've been weepy and anxious these past few days, as the date of my return to work looms in the near future. A future which is uncertain at the moment... and that threatens the delicate balance I have achieved.
But do you want to know what really prompted this post, which is being written at well past midnight, after I have taken my meds and should be heading for bed?
I was walking by the computer and this happened:
Like I said, it's been a bad day. Damn you Seroquel and your double edged sword. You make me feel better but make me gain weight, which makes me very unhappy. Do you see how this circle is doomed?
One good thing worth noting: I got a crazy kiss attack from the kids right before I put them to bed. That brightens any gloomy day.
Well that's it folks. Time for this felicianating girl to hit the sack.
Felicianating... I think I'm tired... tee hee.