Art Can't Be Explained - and shouldn't!

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Many people who have studied art would probably disagree, but I feel strongly that art should not and cannot be explained.

This mini-rant was brought on by this image on Pinterest, or rather the description.




"This work uses lines to direct the viewers focus to the tip of the paintbrush. The implied line from the girls vision as well as the line of the paintbrush and the shadow of the paintbrush. Light in this work is also very dramatic, the shadows play an important part in making it look realistic. Although a lot of the space is white, this work is still very eye catching."

Blah blah blah, blah blah. Boring!

What a bunch of hoopla! In my opinion, art should speak to you. So if you're looking at a piece and you're getting nothing, what you need isn't an explanation.

What you need is to move on, it just isn't the piece for you. If the artwork you are looking at is not evoking any emotions in you, once again, just move on. It doesn't mean the piece is bad or good, as there is no real way to determine that

Don't be bullied into liking something because the so called critics say you should, and vice-versa.

It occurs to me that this applies to life in general...

Mouah!
Felicia

XM Satelite Radio: Why?

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As you may know, I was lucky enough to purchase a beautiful brand new Hyundai Elantra last september.

As a "gift" with purchase, I got a free three month trial of XM Satelite radio.

My review? 

Right from the start, I was unimpressed.  There are like 200+ channels, which I don't have time to be fiddling with while I'm driving.  Scrolling through all those channels was boring and annoying.

After about a month, I got a call from XM Satelite Radio.  Some very kind woman with a deep southern accent was asking me how I felt about the service. 

When I told her I didn't like it, she seemed surprised.  When I told her I didn't like scrolling through so many channels, she told me I could go online and make a list of the ones I liked. As if I have nothing better to do.

She was so kind, I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but I tried to gently explain that there was no way I would ever pay for radio.  I told her that I have my iPhone, a CD player and free local radio - I'm good.

She was pleasant, but undeterred, and she suggested that I keep trying to listen to see if it would grow on me.  I was agreeable, but I reiterated that it really didn't matter if I started to like the service or not, there was still no way in heck I would pay $15 a month for a service that was already being offered to me for free!

She then told me all about the special price they could give me - it would only be $10 a month.  Yep, and that's still $10 more than FREE.

I'm sorry, but this is basically the bottled water of the music industry!  "Let's take something that's free, slap a pretty label on it, and charge a fortune for it!'

No thank you!

They called back several times within the next few months.  Always southern, always kind, and so darn polite.  I felt bad saying no to them, but each time, I'd have to explain to them how I was not interested in paying for something I could get for free, and that I didn't even like their service anyway.

I had to be forceful with the last one.  They just didn't want to get it.  I told him this was bordering on harassment, that the product is basically a scam and that I would NEVER be a customer of theirs.

They haven't called back since.

What do you think?  Do you use it?  Would you if you had the chance?

Much love,
Felicia

Donald Trump Just Gets Weirder With Age

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One of my favorite things to do is catch up on the "weird news" column on Canoe.ca

They collect strange news stories from around the world, and this is one of the weirdest I've seen in a long time.

Donald Trump maintains lawsuit against Bill Maher for his bet - Weird News - Canoe.ca

It seems Bill Maher made some joke about offering 5 Million dollars to the charity of Donald Trumps choice if he would provide a copy of his birth certificate proving that his father was not an ape.  The Don apparently decided to take this seriously, and provided his birth certificate, but is upset because Maher refuses to pay up.

He filed a lawsuit in California last month and Trump says it will be up to the courts to decide whether or not it was a joke.

How can someone supposedly so smart be so dumb? 

Does he mean to tell me that he thinks Bill Maher was actually convinced that Donald Trump's father was an ape?  Are we to believe that he doesn't know full well that this was a satirical comment meant to poke fun at the request Trump made to see Obama's birth certificate?

It seems to me that this is a bully's attempt at silencing free speech.  I, for one, love Bill Maher, and I sure hope he wins this case, because I will be seriously discouraged if he doesn't!

What do you think?

First Day Of Spring

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When you were a kid, which date were you told the seasons changed on?

"Spring Bloom" Painting on ipad by Felicia-May Stevenson

I could swear it was the 21st.  In fact, I'm sure of it.  So when did this change, and more importantly, why?!

I'd been arguing about this with my eldest son for two days, as his teacher told him the first day of spring was on March 20th, and my youngest's teacher said the 21st.  A quick google search has just revealed that he is right and I am wrong.  

Apparently a bunch of astronomers got together and decided that the vernal equinox (AKA first day of spring) actually happened today, March 20th this year.

What's worse, it seems that March 21st has barely ever been the first day of spring.

Is everything I learned in school nothing but a lie?

Improved Gun Control For The United States

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From Obama's FB page

In a press conference held Monday, January 14 2013, Barack Obama, days before the start of his second term as President of the United States of America, has announced plans to improve gun control in his country.

To the outside world, this seems like the most sensible thing to do.  He is not suggesting revoking the second amendment right to bear arms.  He wants to ban semi-automatic assault rifles, extend the waiting period to purchase firearms, improve background checks, put more counsellors in schools and provide better access to mental health care.

Americans would still have the right to bear arms, just not the kind that can kill 20 people in less than 2 minutes.

Of course, the National Rifle Association (NRA) is completely against these proposed changes.  Interesting to note that until 2004, there was a prohibition against semi-automatic machine guns, so while they try to cry infringement on constitutional rights, the right to own an assault rifle doesn't date back to the forefathers...

I simply don't understand this organisation.

When I read over Obama's plan, every point seems purely logical to me.

What foot you can stand on to defend the right to own a Bushmaster AR-15 assault rifle like the one used by Adam Lanza to kill 26 people?!

The right to bear arms was meant as a way to insure that every citizen had a right to protect themselves, and their land. 

However, it is becoming less about one individual's rights and more about the general public's right to feel safe.

I'm not suggesting that guns be banned all together (though I wouldn't personally be upset), but I am suggesting that the NRA is being irresponsible in this instance by not working with the President in his efforts to restore public safety.

I have lost count of the number of mass shootings in the States over the past year.  I have lost count of the number of lives that were lost because of inefficient and outdated laws.  The American constitution has been in effect since 1789, and has been amended 27 times since then.  Why? Because some of the things that were written 200+ years ago have nothing to do with today's was of life.  Did assault riffles even exist then?

Better and deeper background checks might have kept assault riffles out of the hands of Adam Lanza and James Holmes. 

A ban on assault riffles might have saved the 38 people the two of them killed.

For these people, it's too late for should have beens and could have beens, but it's not too late for the next batch.

Maybe, just maybe, if the US government actually works together, for the people, instead of against each other for their own individual agendas, maybe the next batch could be saved.

Maybe the next Adam Lanza would have better access to mental health care.  Maybe he would send off flags when he tried to purchase three tons of ammunition. 

Maybe...

Funny Friday: Jealousy

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A recurring subject of late has been jealousy.  There's so much I'd like to say on the subject, but I'm more in a "I want to draw" phase than a "I want to write" phase, so I made you an image to tide you over until I get my butt in gear.

Every one needs to stop looking at what their neighbor's doing or has, and learn to appreciate their own blessings.

Much love,
Felicia

Thought Provoking Quote

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(Some people cause happiness wherever they go.
Others... Whenever they go)

It's not that hard to be nice, and it feels good.

Hold a door for someone.  Smile at a stranger.  Treat the cashier like she's a real person.  Let someone into your lane on the road, or wave to thank the person who just did it for you.  It only takes a second, and it's good for Karma.

So which of these do you want to be?

PS: In case you were wondering, I "painted" this image using Art Studio for iPad).

Yeah, That Happened To Me Today

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It's been a bad day all around. 

I forgot to take my meds last night, and I only thought about it at like three AM, as I was laying in bed asking myself why the heck I couldn't get to sleep.

My mind was racing, but my body was crashed, as I lay there in a state of semi-consciousness, unable to muster the energy to go downstairs and take the pills, yet still unable to get the old brain to shut down.  I eventually convinced myself that it was best if I just skipped them, as I would have had a very hard time waking up with the kids a mere four hours later.

So instead, I lay there all night, coming in and out of sleep in bouts of fifteen to twenty minutes, until I awoke definitively at seven, a full half hour before the alarm was set to go off.

I tried to nap this afternoon, but the same pattern ensued, and I got up out of annoyance.  I had nausea and felt light headed this afternoon, and ended up ordering pizza, because I just couldn't bring myself to cook for the kids.

I've been weepy and anxious these past few days, as the date of my return to work looms in the near future.  A future which is uncertain at the moment... and that threatens the delicate balance I have achieved.

But do you want to know what really prompted this post, which is being written at well past midnight, after I have taken my meds and should be heading for bed?

I was walking by the computer and this happened:

Like I said, it's been a bad day.  Damn you Seroquel and your double edged sword.  You make me feel better but make me gain weight, which makes me very unhappy.  Do you see how this circle is doomed?

One good thing worth noting: I got a crazy kiss attack from the kids right before I put them to bed.  That brightens any gloomy day.

Well that's it folks.  Time for this felicianating girl to hit the sack.  

Felicianating... I think I'm tired... tee hee.

Barack Obama Wins Second Term As President

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 (and I may have lost a Facebook friend)

I'm watching CBS, and one quote that stood out to me was about the people at the rally where the President is about to give his victory speech.

He said something along the lines of "The mood doesn't seem to be so much excitement as relief"

Amen to that!  I teared up and breathed a huge sigh of relief when they made the announcement of Barack Obama's projected win a few hours ago.

Then I saw this status on a Facebook friend's wall and wasn't able to stop myself from responding. It's not my fault, it's a compulsion, tee-hee.

So yeah, like I said, I may have lost a Facebook friend tonight.

I'm sorry, but nothing sets me on fire more than a woman supporting Mitt Romney.  He is working against YOU, how can you possibly think about voting for him??? 

In other news, Big bird and Elmo were spotted high-fiving each other when Obama's win was announced.

It's a beautiful day.  Congratulations, America.  You did the right thing.  

Something To Think About Before You Vote

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So you voted for Romney...

And then you got date-raped.

But you knew the guy,

So it wasn't legitimate rape.

You didn't fight back because you were scared,

And now you can't prove that that he raped you.

Since it wasn't legitimate rape,

You got pregnant.

Since you voted for Romney,

You can't get an abortion.

Since you couldn't prove you were raped,

You're sharing custody of your illegitimate child with your illegitimate rapist.

According to the president you elected, this was God's plan for you.

Think about it!!!

#teamobama

Much love,
Felicia

Be sure to read my other post for more on my views on abortion laws, I fear for a country with anti-abortion laws.

Romney Promises To Kill Sesame Street

Pin It    
 This upcoming Presidential Election for the US has to be one of the most important in history.

I'm not even American, and I feel deeply invested in the outcome of the american people's votes this November.

You may have already read my article on Romey's views on abortion.

Let's talk about his promise during the first debate to cut all "superfluous" expenses by the federal government including PBS.

I can't help but think that his means the arts, music, and programs that help the poor and the sick.

You know, useless programs.

Sometimes, I crack myself up:

No, but really:  Think about it.

#TeamObama 

Felicia

A Little Inspiration: There Is Still Good In The World

Pin It This picture was posted on the Facebook page Being Liberal.

According to the page, this dry-cleaning store is Plaza Cleaners, located in Portland.

The photo has over 24000 likes; so obviously many people (such as me) were touched by the gesture and at least for one moment, felt a renewed faith in human kind. I find this very inspiring and think more businesses need to start thinking like this.

If I'm ever in Portland, I'll have something dry-cleaned just to show support.

Have you witnessed a wonderful act of kindness lately?  Or better yet, performed one?

Much Love,
Felicia

Remembering September 11

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All of my news feeds are talking about the unforgettable events of 9/11.

I glance at the calendar and realize it's today and I shudder as I wonder if someone is planning a re-enactment.

Sadness engulfs me as I shut my eyes, and relive the events of that day; the day the world changed forever. Maybe it wasn't the world that changed. Maybe it was me.

Innocence lost.

Collision with the reality of the depravity man is capable of, no turning back.

Thousands of lives ended, millions more affected directly or indirectly by the ripples of the tidal wave that hit their collective worlds.

One day that shaped every single one after it.

One day that is a constant reminder that life is uncertain, and that everything can change, or even end, in the blink of an eye.

Much love to all, but especially to the survivors, to the families of those that weren't so lucky, and to the men and women who risked their lives to help others.

You are a constant reminder that there is still so much that is good in this world.

Felicia

I Fear For A Country With Anti-Abortion Laws

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There has been much talk about making abortion illegal, both in Canada, and in the United States.

I shudder at the thought, as this would result in thousands upon thousands of children born to parents who didn't want them or couldn't afford to care for them.

Young girls with great destinies ahead of them forced to repeat the cycle of poverty in which they grew up. Women forced to raise children fathered in rape or incest, because despite what congressman Todd Akin may think, if you're ovulating, and there's sperm, your body doesn't know if you wanted it or not, and it's gonna do what it is programmed to do.

This means thousands of children that would possibly be resented, neglected, even abused. Some would be given up for adoption, but adoption being so expensive and lengthy, the baby would end up spending his first weeks, months, maybe even years in foster care.

Many of these children would grow into adults with poor backgrounds, poor education, and little self esteem, which would just start the wheel rolling all over again for a new cycle to begin and a new generation of "oopsie babies" to be born.

This would also mean the return of back alley abortions, with shady doctors performing shady operations with sub par tools. Some women would try to abort it themselves, using a coat hanger or some other desperate measure that could lead to serious infection or self-injury.

Meanwhile, the rich would still be able to get their little problems "taken care of", for a hefty sum at faraway retreats. Their tracts not derailed, their lives not completely changed, their bodies not scarred for ever. The gap between the rich and poor in our countries would continue to grow, and be wider than ever before.

I'm not saying I'm for abortion, I'm just saying I'm not against it.

I'm saying it's a personal choice, and a very difficult one. It's a decision that women will have to live with for the rest of their lives, and one no woman makes lightly.

I'm saying stop quoting the bible at me, because you only ever quote the things you like, and even those quotes take on a new meaning depending on the spin you try to make on them.

The catholic religion has spewed so many lies over thousand of years that I find myself very conflicted in my beliefs.

What I do believe for sure, is that no one on this planet is in a position to judge others. That everyone on this planet has done at least one thing they wouldn't be too proud of discussing with God himself, and that no one on this planet really knows anything about what God thinks, or if he even exists.

I believe in being a good person: in doing my best, but being able to recognize my sins (as I see them), and trying to better myself. I believe in being generous, and helping the less fortunate. I believe in letting others live their lives in freedom, to choose who they want to be, their own religion, their sexuality, and if and when they wish to have children.
As humans in this day and age, we are subjected to many rules and regulations. Practically slaves to our societies, but...

No law should ever have dominion on our bodies.

Much love,
Felicia

Five Signs You're Addicted To Your iPhone

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Hi, my name is Felicia, and I am addicted to my iPhone.

Well, I didn't really want the thing, but now that I have it, I couldn't see myself living without it.

For better or for worse, my iPhone is now an intricate part of my life... and seems to have become an extension of my arm.

Here are five symptoms I've noted that may indicate that you're addicted to your iPhone... and have been using it far too much!

1. You make a mistake while typing on a computer and keep going, expecting auto correct to fix it.
2. While sitting at your PC, you double click on an area of the page to enlarge it.
3. You double space to end a sentence while typing on your PC and don't understand why it doesn't add the dot and automatically capitalize the first letter of the next sentence.
4. You compulsively pick it up and unlock it without really needing to use it.
5. When you close your eyes at night, you can still see the screen of whichever game you've been obsessing over. (OK, no joke, I'm not proud to admit this, but the other night as I tried to lay me down to sleep, I could see myself as the shark in Hungry Shark... hunting for fishies. I know, I'm Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs)

Check out my post on 25 ways smart phones have changed our lives to find out more about the reasons why we are addicted to these devices.


What about you?  Do you own a smart phone?  Could you live without it?  

Much Love, 

Felicia

UC Davis Protestors Pepper Sprayed

Pin It I'm shocked.  I'm outraged.  I'm disgusted.  I'm in disbelief.  I need a thesaurus to keep expressing my indignation over this event...

Photo by Louise Macabitas

Whether you live in Canada or The United States, you have the right to free speech.  You have the right to peaceful protest.

Or at least you were told you had those rights.  

Sometimes getting them respected is a little trickier.

On Friday, November 18, 2011, campus police at UC Davis University in California, openly and blatantly blasted a row of peaceful protesters with copious amounts of pepper spray.  This video depicts the event, with the crowd of onlookers chanting "shame on you" to the guilty officers.  The scene continues, showing the officers trying to forcibly remove the protesters, most of whom bravely stood (OK, sat) their ground.  I greatly admire their determination to have their voices heard, and refusal to be bullied.

The Chancellor of the university has ordered an investigation, following demands for her resignation.  She refuses to step down, stating she did nothing wrong and did not violate campus policies.  I wonder what her role was in this situation?  If none, then no, she should not be forced to resign, but the officers involved should definitely be terminated.  If she gave the order, I hope she is arrested.  Or perhaps she and the officers should be sprayed as well.  Wikipidia describes the effects of pepper spray as follows:

"Pepper spray is an inflammatory agent. It causes immediate closing of the eyes, difficulty breathing, runny nose, and coughing. The duration of its effects depends on the strength of the spray but the average full effect lasts around thirty to forty-five minutes, with diminished effects lasting for hours."

The video shows the spray to have been quite strong, some of the protesters having been taken to the hospital for treatment.  The officers stated that they felt their safety was in danger.  Really?  At what point?  When everyone sat down?  There are no words.

I recently wrote an article on Broowaha entitled "Stepping out of the Box", which discussed our complacency with the state of our countries, and how I wish we'd all stand up to make change happen.  I've also hinted at some point that I felt like the change that was required to turn our countries around would cause a civil war.

It chills me to the bone to see how right I was.

While no less revolting, this is the kind of behaviour I would expect from countries such as Egypt and Cuba, not the United States of America, to whom I feel closely connected, living only a few hours from the border and having been submersed in it's culture from early childhood.

EVERYONE knows it's a free country.  EVERYONE'S  heard the "dream" story.

Well, the dream is being gobbled up by the big businesses that control the government.

And if you try to protest against it, you will be brutalized.

I usually end my posts with "Much Love", but tonight, I wish you peace.

Felicia

PS: Much of my information came from a CNN article, check it out if you're looking for more details.

Remembrance Day, Forgotten

Pin It Hiyaaa... So glad you could come by... (shuffles uncomfortably)

Um, I know you were coming here expecting some great funny story, or maybe a rant, some cool thing I saw on the internet... but um, I'm feeling kind of unprepared for your visit tonight.  I got nadda.  I don't know what to talk about.  I've got 20 drafts sitting, waiting to be developed.  At least 50 more filling up my notebook waiting to be brought to life.

But tonight?  None of them feel right.  Nothing's striking my fancy.

(uncomfortable silence)

Ok, I see you're not really willing to accept this as an answer, so since I don't want you to feel that your visit here is a total bust...  I drew you a picture:

To tell you the truth, I was suppose to post it in on Remembrance Day, this past Friday, Nov 11 in Canada... but I forgot.  How's that for irony?  I didn't forget about the day, just about the post I'd planned.

I was going to use this picture, and feature the poem "In Flanders Field" by John McRae, written in 1915, during the first World War.  Better late than never they say, so here it is for you:

In Flanders fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses, row on row,

That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved and were loved, and now we lie

In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch; be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep, though poppies grow

In Flanders fields.

It doesn't have to be Remembrance Day, or Memorial Day in the US, in order for us to remember and give thanks for the thousands upon thousands of young men who risked or even gave their lives so that our countries could continue to prosper and that we could continue to enjoy the freedom which is the right of any human being.

If you're new around here, you might not have read my Grandfather's poetry from WWII... you should really check it out.  The artist's soul is a shared trait within my clan.

And I thought I had nothing to say.

Felicia ;)

PS: Did you know? Felicianation is ever growing, and I recently added a niche blog celebrating art in all it's mediums... check it out!  amazingartfinds.blogspot.com

If you still haven't had enough of me, you could check out these previous posts, some of my personal favourites:

I may be crazy, but you're insane!
A PSA for Teenage Girls
Passenger: A revealing look into the crazy/beautiful mind of Felicia Stevenson

Inspiration Is a Fickle Creature

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This is quite a Crazy/Beautiful world we live in.

Instead of loving thy neighbour, we tend to push each other down, unaffected by the heads we've stepped on to climb our way to the top.

With this being said, it is sometimes hard, for those of us who have chosen a different journey, to remain confident that we are on the right path when those who surround us either put down or fail to celebrate our achievements.

This post is all about celebrating you, and sharing some of the things that help keep me motivated when my inspiration seems to fail me and the darkness threatens to take over.



The Amazing Miss M, also known as Mariah Carey to non-superfans, wrote a song many years back called "Can't Take That Away From Me". The lyrics have made it one of my inner theme songs, one I can listen to when the haters start to get to me.

Some of my favourite lyrics from "Can't Take That Away From Me"

They can say anything they want to say, Try to bring me down,

But I will not allow anyone to succeed hanging clouds over me,

And they can try hard to make me feel that I don't matter at all,

But I refuse to falter in what I believe or loose faith in my dreams

'There's a light in me, that shines brightly, they can try, but they can't take that away from me. 

Oh they, they can do anything they want to you, if you let them in, but they won't ever win,if you cling to you pride, and just push them aside. 

See I, I have learned, there's an inner peace I own, something in my soul that they can not possess. So I won't be afraid and the darkness will fade....

If you know in your heart that you're on the right route, don't let other people's darkness bring you down. I'm reminded of something that is said in wedding ceremonies: "What God has joined together, let no man tear apart" or something like that. This applies to your talents and inner light as well. God (or the universe) has joined them to you, so don't you let anyone take them from you.

A couple of funny/inspirational quotes I wanted to share. This first one is my absolute favourite, and I found it on a night I really needed to hear it:

Here's a giggle before you go... poking a little fun at Bipolar Disorder: better to laugh about it than to cry, I say. Remember that while struggling with Bipolar disorder is very difficult, it does not define you. If anything, it is part of what makes us so beautiful. Our sensitive souls can see beauty others are blind to.

Tee-hee... too cute.

Much Love, 

Felicia

PS: My apologies to the originating sites, I can't seem to find my list of urls, but if this is one of yours, please let me know, and I will be more than happy to share some link love.

Suicide: Old Friend or Foe?

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I spent most of my twenties wondering why I was here, what it meant, and what my purpose was in life.  I didn't fear my own death as I would be gone and it wouldn't matter to me.  I feared the deaths of my loved ones instead, as the thought of having to go on without them would tear me to shreds.

Then I became a mother to two beautiful, amazing boys, and I stopped asking myself those questions.  I am here to be their mother and my purpose is to raise them to become good men. 

I started thinking about committing suicide when I had my first major depressive episode at the age of 17.

I was disgusted with the world I saw around me, and I didn't want to be a part of it.  I put my parents through Hell, telling them often that I wanted to die.  My poor mother didn't know what to do with herself, and my father, well, I saw him cry for the first time in my life. (and maybe even the last)

There was a point where I finally became conscious of what I was doing to them, and vowed to myself to never burden them with my pain again.  I stopped talking about suicide, and I stopped thinking I'd do it.  Instead, I spent the next couple of years praying to God that he come get me.  Weeping alone in the dark, begging Him to let me come home, as I just couldn't believe that I was actually suppose to be part of this world.

More on Bipolar Disorder - My Wandering Mind

Pin It Sometimes when I'm watching television, my mind wanders.  I get lost so deep in thought that when the show ends, I'm jolted back to reality as the white noise ends when the TV switches back to the PVR menu (I very rarely watch live TV... I'm spoiled like that).

What's more, I couldn't tell you in the least what happened during the program.  Or maybe I was paying attention for the first part, but I completely missed the conclusion, so I have to rewind and watch again.  Sometimes I do this more then once.  It's not even because I'm not interested, I just can't seem to stop my mind from wandering.

Sometimes I'll be talking to someone and the same thing happens.  I used to be such a good listener, but nowadays, it's like I've developed Attention Deficit Disorder, if that's even possible at my age.  There are times where it is a great physical exertion to try and concentrate on what the other person is saying and actually absorb the information.  Again, a lack of interest is not the issue, I don't know what is.

I used to be an avid reader, but sometimes I find myself re-reading the same page over and over again, because though my eyes are skimming the text, nothing is actually sinking in.

The other day, as I was reading through a wonderful blog I recently started to follow, I came upon this entry, and I thought I'd share an exert with you as it really struck a cord with me.

Bipolar II: Newly Diagnosed: Looking but not seeing; Listening but not hearing:

"We're having a conversation. I just finished speaking and now it's your turn. I'm staring right into your eyes. I'm nodding my head. It would appear that I'm in perfect control of the situation. On the surface"..."While I'm holding your gaze and nodding my head, my mind wanders. Sometimes it's thinking about what I'll be doing later, what I'd rather be doing that moment, making a mental grocery list...Mostly I'm blocking out all background noise and creating an area where nothing exists. No decisions have to be made...and I won't be able to recall any of this in mere moments. Life takes place all around me. Time passes without meaning. without feeling"..."Instances are ignored. Feelings get hurt. Tears fall. Very little control." (read the whole post by clicking above)