I'd like to get off this ride please

Pin It

Can we stop the world?  I want to get off this crazy ride.  

There is corruption everywhere we look...  Our governments are turning against us, changing our constitutional rights and infringing on our right to free speech, stealing from us, even drugging us (a small dose of prozac in your drinking water should keep you nice and complacent, right?)  

Discrimination, greed, violence, manipulation... News story get more and more disturbing every day. 

War has become a business and if we end all wars tomorrow, millions of people will lose their jobs... So the people who own the companies that make the weapons also own the companies that make the news.  Yes make... Is there really any true journalism these days?  They invent stories or bend the truth to fuel anger and hate... and create wars. Hard to find the truth in a haystack of lies.

Capitalism has gone terribly, terribly wrong.  

Is there any hope for humanity?  For planet earth?  The planet will survive, even if we all blow each other up.  She will do as she has done for millions of years and freeze over until the air clears enough to thaw... and then life will begin again.   

What about us though?  Divided by race, by sex, by religion, by sexual orientation... Yet we are all the same.  Religious extremists, using religion as a weapon, instilling fear of retribution as a means to control... When every religion is supposed to be based in love.

Respect, courtesy and compassion are now seen as weaknesses and are becoming antiquated values...

There is so much that is wrong, so where do we start to make it right?

I suppose it starts with each and every one of us, making a conscious decision to judge less, and trying to understand more.  Questioning everything we hear and removing our blinders.  Reminding ourselves that extremists do not represent the group and using our voices to be heard and to affect change... Even demand it.  

Share this post... let's work together to make the world a little better.  

Please Leave Your Negativity At The Door

Pin It

Because if you don't, I might invite you to go trough it again, and not return.

I have HAD IT with negative people.  You'll have to excuse the caps, but they are necessary so that you understand how MAD I am right now, and how badly I have HAD IT with the dang peanut gallery!

Ok, I'll stop now, but imagine that I'm biting in to every single word, and I am visibly angry.

Every single project I have, there are a million others out there trying to do the same thing, and it seems like no one, especially complete strangers, can resist telling me that.

"You want to write a variety blog? It's going to be impossible to build and audience, you'll never succeed."

You know what?  It's not easy.  I've been at this for a while, and it's still not what I'd like it to be.  Though if I'm honest, I haven't put in all the necessary efforts, and when I did work hard on it, I got more results.  So arguably, if I'd put in the work, this blog could have been a huge success.  Nothing is impossible, and screw you (negative person) for implying that I can't  be successful in something if I put my mind to it.  I'm sorry you'd never have the courage to follow your dreams, but please abstain from polluting my mind with negative thoughts I don't need to hear.

"You want to open a restaurant? You do know that most of them go out of business in the first five years don't you?  You're making a big mistake.  Remember you have a family to feed!"

Awesome.  Thank you so much for reminding me that I had a family.  For a minute there, I had completely forgotten that I gave birth to two beautiful boys around which my entire universe revolves.  Good thing you were there to point that out for me, I may have never remembered.  As for the restaurant business, while that may be true, it's true of restaurants that don't know what they're doing.  My husband and I have ample experience and are exceptionally astute, so don't you worry about us making a go of it, because I'm not.  Again, I'm sorry that you will never have enough confidence in your own self to make this kind of a leap, but please keep your fears to yourself, as I don't want them to become my own.

"Oh, you're making jewelry?  Are you selling a lot of it?" (in a snarky type of "what a joke" type of tone)

No actually, I haven't sold a lot of it yet, though I have sold some, and have gotten tons of positive feedback.  Also, I just started, so you know, building a clientele takes time.  You know what though?  I love it.  My jewelry is unique, and each piece is one of a kind.  Will I become a millionaire from selling jewelry? Probably not, but hey who knows?  If you never try something, you can never succeed at it.

"Oh you started your own face painting business?  Can you live from that full time?"

If you must know, I know a clown that makes a pretty decent living doing kids parties and corporate events full time, and he makes a very decent living.  I don't personally plan on doing this full time, but if the business takes off, I sure wouldn't mind.  I love face painting, it doesn't feel like work.  I make good money, spend about five minutes with each child, make them super happy and send them on their merry way.  It rocks.

I'm sure I could come up with a million more examples, but I think you get the picture.

Point is: I don't want to hear it!!!  Stop filling my head with all of your fears and insecurities!

I think I can, therefore I will.  Got it?  I will.

OK, that's enough ranting for one day.  What about you?  Do you have to deal with Nay-Sayers often? How do you respond to unwelcomed negative opinions?

Much love and POSITIVE thoughts!
Felicia
xx

Art Can't Be Explained - and shouldn't!

Pin It


Many people who have studied art would probably disagree, but I feel strongly that art should not and cannot be explained.

This mini-rant was brought on by this image on Pinterest, or rather the description.




"This work uses lines to direct the viewers focus to the tip of the paintbrush. The implied line from the girls vision as well as the line of the paintbrush and the shadow of the paintbrush. Light in this work is also very dramatic, the shadows play an important part in making it look realistic. Although a lot of the space is white, this work is still very eye catching."

Blah blah blah, blah blah. Boring!

What a bunch of hoopla! In my opinion, art should speak to you. So if you're looking at a piece and you're getting nothing, what you need isn't an explanation.

What you need is to move on, it just isn't the piece for you. If the artwork you are looking at is not evoking any emotions in you, once again, just move on. It doesn't mean the piece is bad or good, as there is no real way to determine that

Don't be bullied into liking something because the so called critics say you should, and vice-versa.

It occurs to me that this applies to life in general...

Mouah!
Felicia

XM Satelite Radio: Why?

Pin It
As you may know, I was lucky enough to purchase a beautiful brand new Hyundai Elantra last september.

As a "gift" with purchase, I got a free three month trial of XM Satelite radio.

My review? 

Right from the start, I was unimpressed.  There are like 200+ channels, which I don't have time to be fiddling with while I'm driving.  Scrolling through all those channels was boring and annoying.

After about a month, I got a call from XM Satelite Radio.  Some very kind woman with a deep southern accent was asking me how I felt about the service. 

When I told her I didn't like it, she seemed surprised.  When I told her I didn't like scrolling through so many channels, she told me I could go online and make a list of the ones I liked. As if I have nothing better to do.

She was so kind, I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but I tried to gently explain that there was no way I would ever pay for radio.  I told her that I have my iPhone, a CD player and free local radio - I'm good.

She was pleasant, but undeterred, and she suggested that I keep trying to listen to see if it would grow on me.  I was agreeable, but I reiterated that it really didn't matter if I started to like the service or not, there was still no way in heck I would pay $15 a month for a service that was already being offered to me for free!

She then told me all about the special price they could give me - it would only be $10 a month.  Yep, and that's still $10 more than FREE.

I'm sorry, but this is basically the bottled water of the music industry!  "Let's take something that's free, slap a pretty label on it, and charge a fortune for it!'

No thank you!

They called back several times within the next few months.  Always southern, always kind, and so darn polite.  I felt bad saying no to them, but each time, I'd have to explain to them how I was not interested in paying for something I could get for free, and that I didn't even like their service anyway.

I had to be forceful with the last one.  They just didn't want to get it.  I told him this was bordering on harassment, that the product is basically a scam and that I would NEVER be a customer of theirs.

They haven't called back since.

What do you think?  Do you use it?  Would you if you had the chance?

Much love,
Felicia

Gay Marriage, Abortion and Opression

Pin It

The FB conversation that caused this rant.

I've spoken out about the war on abortion before, but last week, with all the talk about gay marriage rights and the on-going court cases in the US, my frustrations with people hiding behind God to defend their own agendas of hate have grown to a boiling point, and I find myself having to revisit the subject, but this time I'm not just talking about abortion rights, I'm talking about gay marriage rights as well. 

I'm talking about basic human rights. The right to choose who you love, the right to choose if and when you want children.  The right to live your life as you see fit, not dictated to you by politicians with dirty agendas using God's name in vain.

Unless you have ever spoken directly to God, you have no idea what He wants, feels or thinks. If we are to believe that God makes no mistakes, then it is within His design that we all be different.

If you are going to use His name to defend hatred, please remember that He said "love thy neighbor", not love thy neighbor unless he's gay or something else you don't approve of.

A true Christian accepts others without judgement, as he knows that only God has the right to judge.

I'm saying stop quoting the bible at me, because you only ever quote the things you like, and even those quotes take on a new meaning depending on the spin you try to make on them.

The catholic religion has spewed so many lies over thousand of years that I find myself very conflicted in my beliefs, but what I do believe for sure is that no one on this planet is in a position to judge others. That everyone on this planet has done at least one thing they wouldn't be too proud of discussing with God Himself, and that no one on this planet really knows anything about what God thinks, or if He even truly exists.

I believe in being a good person: in doing my best, and trying to better myself. I believe in being generous, and helping the less fortunate. 

I believe in letting others live their lives in freedom, to choose who they want to be, their sexuality, who they want to marry, which religion they want to adhere to, and if and when they wish to have children.

As humans in this day and age, we are subjected to many rules and regulations. Practically slaves to our societies and governments, but...

No law should ever have dominion on our bodies or dictate whom we can love.

Okay, so that's my rant for today.

TTYS!
 

First Day Of Spring

Pin It

When you were a kid, which date were you told the seasons changed on?

"Spring Bloom" Painting on ipad by Felicia-May Stevenson

I could swear it was the 21st.  In fact, I'm sure of it.  So when did this change, and more importantly, why?!

I'd been arguing about this with my eldest son for two days, as his teacher told him the first day of spring was on March 20th, and my youngest's teacher said the 21st.  A quick google search has just revealed that he is right and I am wrong.  

Apparently a bunch of astronomers got together and decided that the vernal equinox (AKA first day of spring) actually happened today, March 20th this year.

What's worse, it seems that March 21st has barely ever been the first day of spring.

Is everything I learned in school nothing but a lie?

Comment Moderation

Pin It

I didn't want to do it, but the dreaded spambot has left me no choice.

As if Murphy himself ordered it so, ever since I told my friend that Blogger's platform was great at blocking spam, tons of spam commenters found my site.

My email was being flooded by spam comments, and though I'd come delete them, it was starting to be too much.

I can't bear the thought of bringing back Captchas, that would be so cruel to you, my dear readers. I already get too few comments on the blog, I'm certainly not going to make it more complicated!!!

Instead, I've been forced to instill comment moderation.

Your comment will be visible after my approval.

Don't blame me, blame the evil spambot.

Much love,
Felicia

Improved Gun Control For The United States

Pin It

From Obama's FB page

In a press conference held Monday, January 14 2013, Barack Obama, days before the start of his second term as President of the United States of America, has announced plans to improve gun control in his country.

To the outside world, this seems like the most sensible thing to do.  He is not suggesting revoking the second amendment right to bear arms.  He wants to ban semi-automatic assault rifles, extend the waiting period to purchase firearms, improve background checks, put more counsellors in schools and provide better access to mental health care.

Americans would still have the right to bear arms, just not the kind that can kill 20 people in less than 2 minutes.

Of course, the National Rifle Association (NRA) is completely against these proposed changes.  Interesting to note that until 2004, there was a prohibition against semi-automatic machine guns, so while they try to cry infringement on constitutional rights, the right to own an assault rifle doesn't date back to the forefathers...

I simply don't understand this organisation.

When I read over Obama's plan, every point seems purely logical to me.

What foot you can stand on to defend the right to own a Bushmaster AR-15 assault rifle like the one used by Adam Lanza to kill 26 people?!

The right to bear arms was meant as a way to insure that every citizen had a right to protect themselves, and their land. 

However, it is becoming less about one individual's rights and more about the general public's right to feel safe.

I'm not suggesting that guns be banned all together (though I wouldn't personally be upset), but I am suggesting that the NRA is being irresponsible in this instance by not working with the President in his efforts to restore public safety.

I have lost count of the number of mass shootings in the States over the past year.  I have lost count of the number of lives that were lost because of inefficient and outdated laws.  The American constitution has been in effect since 1789, and has been amended 27 times since then.  Why? Because some of the things that were written 200+ years ago have nothing to do with today's was of life.  Did assault riffles even exist then?

Better and deeper background checks might have kept assault riffles out of the hands of Adam Lanza and James Holmes. 

A ban on assault riffles might have saved the 38 people the two of them killed.

For these people, it's too late for should have beens and could have beens, but it's not too late for the next batch.

Maybe, just maybe, if the US government actually works together, for the people, instead of against each other for their own individual agendas, maybe the next batch could be saved.

Maybe the next Adam Lanza would have better access to mental health care.  Maybe he would send off flags when he tried to purchase three tons of ammunition. 

Maybe...

Something To Think About Before You Vote

Pin It
So you voted for Romney...

And then you got date-raped.

But you knew the guy,

So it wasn't legitimate rape.

You didn't fight back because you were scared,

And now you can't prove that that he raped you.

Since it wasn't legitimate rape,

You got pregnant.

Since you voted for Romney,

You can't get an abortion.

Since you couldn't prove you were raped,

You're sharing custody of your illegitimate child with your illegitimate rapist.

According to the president you elected, this was God's plan for you.

Think about it!!!

#teamobama

Much love,
Felicia

Be sure to read my other post for more on my views on abortion laws, I fear for a country with anti-abortion laws.

3 Ways the IPhone 5 Disappoints Yet Again

Pin It


Apple may be the leader in smartphone technology, but the iPhone 5 and iOS 6 are still disappointing to me on many levels, as I feel more attention to detail is required to reach perfection.

First off, why is there still no customizable display as offered on Android devices? I want live wallpapers and the ability to arrange my icons as I wish. Come on Apple, you going to tell me that's too hard to achieve?

Second, why haven't the dictionary and autocorrect been fine tuned yet? How hard would it be to offer an "add to dictionary" option? How about language detector? If Microsoft was able to figure it out, surely you are too?

Third, I resent these permanent apps you have added to my phone. I don't give a flying crap about the stock market or the news stand, and it bothers me that I can't just delete them. It's my phone, I should be able to do as I please with it. You're like an over-baring mother that won't let me leave home without my mittens.

In conclusion, I'd say I have a love-hate relationship with Apple. On the one hand, I love my iPhone and iPad. On the other, it really bothers me that they keep releasing the same products with incremental improvements every year.

It bugs me even more that I sincerely think this is a well thought out business plan, an evil genius idea to take advantage of the masses, and society's constant need to one-up each other and to keep up with the neighbors.  It's a conspiracy, you know it's true.

wink wink

Much love,
Felicia

Bad Day

Pin It It's been a bad day.

Ghosts from the past resurfacing and causing such turmoil, bringing forth so many buried emotions, floods of pain.

Worry and sorrow over a struggling family member. Feeling so helpless. Useless.

Anxiety mixed with excitement over the up-coming move. Feeling like I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop, like someone will jump out of the bushes and yell "Haha! Got you!".

Tired from the insomnia.
Worried about my kids.

Time for bed.

Hope tomorrow is better.

Writer's Block

Pin It

GRRRR this is so frustrating!  

There's so much I want to say, but after a half hour of starting sentences and deleting them, I'm not getting anywhere.

Here's a picture instead, they're suppose to be worth a million words anyway... which means that if you think about it, this is a really long Blog post!!! 

Much Love, 

Felicia

Nicole Scherzinger fails to save Rachel Crow on X Factor

Pin It Watching The X Factor tonight was just devastating.

I was already broken hearted last week when we lost my favourite, Drew Ryniewicz.  This is a video of her first audition, when she won my heart and that of many others, I'm sure:

Tonight, in the bottom two, were Marcus Canty and Rachel Crow.  Now I like Marcus Canty well enough.  He has a good voice and smile.  But he doesn't move me, you know?

Now Rachel, well Rachel Crow is 12 years old.  This girl doesn't just sing, she sangs!  She was gracious and lovely, and when she was in the bottom two tonight, she did her very best to keep her chin up and swallow her tears.

The two of them had to sing for survival, and while Marcus' performance was good, hers was phenomenal... as you can see for yourself by watching this video of Rachel's save me song "I'd rather be blind".  Notice how moved Paula and Nicole seem to be.

While she had given quite a few noteworthy performances throughout, this was definitely her crowning moment. She gave that song every last bit of emotion she was feeling and it was bone chilling good.  You wouldn't think this was coming from a twelve year old pre-teen.  I'm sure everyone thought she would be saved, including Marcus Canty, who seemed completely defeated after her performance.

WELL!!! When the time came to vote, LA Reid obviously went with Marcus, and Simon Cowell with Rachel, Paula Abdul joined Simon and it all came down to Nicole Scherzinger.  She sat there blubbering and copped out, refusing to send Marcus home, knowing full well she should, and sent it to deadlock, so it would be decided by the votes.

I guess she thought for sure that with Marcus having been in the bottom two for three weeks in a row that he would be going home, but you saw her face crumple when the words hit her and she realized what she'd just done.

I'm not happy with her.  I think she failed to do her job and took the cowards way out, and didn't do anyone any favours by doing so.  Rachel is young and her career will go on, but Marcus Canty will now forever be remembered as the guy who should have been sent home instead of Rachel Crow.

As for Nicole Scherzinger, I think it will take a while before the haters calm themselves, despite the fact that she looked totally heartbroken when she heard the results.

According to Marc Malkin, she will be releasing a new solo album shortly and is slated to perform one song on an up-coming episode of X Factor.  In Marc's article, she's quoted as saying: "I have the song in mind, but I never know if I'm going to change my mind depending on how I'm feeling".

I wonder if there's an "I'm sorry I acted like a coward and failed to do my job" song on that album? 

Watching Rachel Crow crumple to the floor after being told she was eliminated was heart wrenching, but part of me feels bad for all the backlash Nicole's getting as well.

There was an article somewhere showing her facebook page, and all of the incredibly hateful messages she was receiving.  Apparently there were death threats last week with Drew, I imagine there will be more this week with Rachel.  It's all a bit too extreme for my liking.

Was it a horrible decision? Yes.  Should she have millions of people sending her hate mail?  No.  Maybe just her boss. :)

Felicia

5 Reasons Why My Home is Making Me Sick

Pin It That's it, I've had it.  This place has been my home for 6 years, I've lived here longer than I've ever been anywhere in my whole life.  But I just can't take it any more.

The first couple of years weren't so bad, but it's been pure hell ever since.

I have recently come to realize that this apartment is making me ill, and it's not even because of mould or any other disaster.

(Though I wouldn't be surprised if an inspection did reveal mould, we seem to get sick here a lot)



Here are the 5 reasons why my home is making me sick.

1. The Landlord is insane.
2. The first neighbours to live below me had two kids, and they would allow them to play basketball... on the ceiling (AKA my floor).  At some point, they got cockroaches, and they started crawling in through my bathroom.  I also watched a fruit peel rot over several months on their kitchen's window sill.
3. I ended up missing them when they were gone, because they were still better than the next people.  They had a 1000 watt base they would play all hours of the day and night, causing a constant vibration in my entire apartment.  He was a drunk, and they would get into terrible fights.  They were also constantly having parties, and the whole building would shake as they would slam the doors all night long.  The police were called in numerous times, but they kept on bothering us until the last day they lived there.  The current neighbour also has a hard time remembering he has neighbours and occasionally blasts the music way past acceptable levels, but thankfully, it isn't as frequent, and not all night.
4. Then there were the two young girls who used to throw wild parties all the time.  The building's doors would slam all night long, and once their friends set off the building's fire alarm because too many of them were smoking in the stairwell... at 3:00 AM.
5. The one that takes the cake is my newest neighbour: she has decided that it's too cold to smoke outside, and she doesn't want to smoke in her apartment, so she's going to sit in the hallway to smoke all winter... beside my door.  The worse thing is the freaking pot-pourri scented crap she sprays to mask the smoke.  It's so intense, I can't even breathe when I come up the steps.  I've been so nice to her, have given her food several times, and when I asked her nicely to stop, she pretty much told me to f-off.

"Ah ben Tabarn...!"  Excuse my French, when I'm really angry, my interjections come out in my mother tongue. ;)

That was my last freaking straw.  If I don't leave this building, I'm either going to strangle one of my neighbours or the landlord some day soon.

Let me tell ya, you have to think you're something pretty f-ing special to think that your apartment's too good to smoke in, but it's OK to disturb 15 other apartments.

These people cause me anxiety, make my blood pressure rise and are generally just ruining all semblance of quality of life we ever had here.  They have made me start to hate the home I loved so much.

It's time to go.

And good news!  I left the landlord a message yesterday asking if she'd let me out of my lease early, telling her I just didn't want to fight any more... with her or the neighbours.

She called back this morning, and the mere sound of the phone sent my heart racing and my whole body shaking.  I waited a full 15 minutes for my breath to calm down before listening to her message.  She was her usual psycho-bitch self, but she said "Yes Felicia, you can leave with pleasure..."

HAHA!  The pleasure's all mine, biotch.  My mental health will greatly improve when I don't have to deal with any of you people any more.  

Felicia

UC Davis Protestors Pepper Sprayed

Pin It I'm shocked.  I'm outraged.  I'm disgusted.  I'm in disbelief.  I need a thesaurus to keep expressing my indignation over this event...

Photo by Louise Macabitas

Whether you live in Canada or The United States, you have the right to free speech.  You have the right to peaceful protest.

Or at least you were told you had those rights.  

Sometimes getting them respected is a little trickier.

On Friday, November 18, 2011, campus police at UC Davis University in California, openly and blatantly blasted a row of peaceful protesters with copious amounts of pepper spray.  This video depicts the event, with the crowd of onlookers chanting "shame on you" to the guilty officers.  The scene continues, showing the officers trying to forcibly remove the protesters, most of whom bravely stood (OK, sat) their ground.  I greatly admire their determination to have their voices heard, and refusal to be bullied.

The Chancellor of the university has ordered an investigation, following demands for her resignation.  She refuses to step down, stating she did nothing wrong and did not violate campus policies.  I wonder what her role was in this situation?  If none, then no, she should not be forced to resign, but the officers involved should definitely be terminated.  If she gave the order, I hope she is arrested.  Or perhaps she and the officers should be sprayed as well.  Wikipidia describes the effects of pepper spray as follows:

"Pepper spray is an inflammatory agent. It causes immediate closing of the eyes, difficulty breathing, runny nose, and coughing. The duration of its effects depends on the strength of the spray but the average full effect lasts around thirty to forty-five minutes, with diminished effects lasting for hours."

The video shows the spray to have been quite strong, some of the protesters having been taken to the hospital for treatment.  The officers stated that they felt their safety was in danger.  Really?  At what point?  When everyone sat down?  There are no words.

I recently wrote an article on Broowaha entitled "Stepping out of the Box", which discussed our complacency with the state of our countries, and how I wish we'd all stand up to make change happen.  I've also hinted at some point that I felt like the change that was required to turn our countries around would cause a civil war.

It chills me to the bone to see how right I was.

While no less revolting, this is the kind of behaviour I would expect from countries such as Egypt and Cuba, not the United States of America, to whom I feel closely connected, living only a few hours from the border and having been submersed in it's culture from early childhood.

EVERYONE knows it's a free country.  EVERYONE'S  heard the "dream" story.

Well, the dream is being gobbled up by the big businesses that control the government.

And if you try to protest against it, you will be brutalized.

I usually end my posts with "Much Love", but tonight, I wish you peace.

Felicia

PS: Much of my information came from a CNN article, check it out if you're looking for more details.

I May Be Crazy, But You're Insane!

Pin It So I've told you before that I struggle with Bipolar Disorder.


My question to you is this:  If I'm crazy, why is the rest of the world so freaking insane?!

I find myself on a daily basis wanting to offer my medication to one person or the other.


The latest person I would recommend for intensive therapy is my landlord.  Man she's a funny one, and it's not because she makes me laugh.


Dealing with her is pure torture, and you never know whether you're going to get the sweet as peaches girl or the raging psychotic.  Actually, it is kind of predictable.  She's all peaches and cream when everything's OK, but the minute there's a minor problem, she has a fit.


I visited her last week to give her some rent cheques.  She was talking to me like we haven't had at least 10 screaming matches over the last 6 years.  She actually had the gall to say to me:  "You know, I haven't raised your rent in 6 years, huh?  That's because I like you".  Good thing I wasn't drinking anything at that moment, I might have spit it out all over her desk.


She hasn't raised my rent in 6 years because she keeps forgetting about me.  My lease is up in November, and she has to serve notice by August 1 if she wants to increase me.  Seeing as most of her tenants renew in the summer, she sends all those letters out in April or May... come August, I've completely slipped her mind.  Apparently, on top of being certifiable, she's never heard of a Bring Forward system.


Anyway, I digress.  So we're sitting there chatting like we're best friends, and I mention to her that my tap is dripping in my bath tub (which I had asked to have fixed three years ago).  She's like "Oh, No problem!  I'll call you next week, we'll make an appointment, we'll get it fixed right away". Cool. I left the office, and my level of anxiety dropped as relief flooded over me that this hadn't been a bad encounter with her.  That was Thursday.


So Saturday morning rolls around, it's 10AM, and there's a knock on the door.  I'm wearing nothing but a house coat, my hair's a mess and the apartment's even worse.


I get to the door and some stranger is standing there, so I say "yes? Can I help you?"  He's like "Plumber".  I'm really caught off guard, but I open the door, and I ask him how come he's there, weren't we suppose to make an appointment?


Right away, he gets all agitated.  "What's your problem?  I'm here to fix your tap!" and more stuff I don't remember.  I get offended and ask him his name.  He raises his voice and is all "you don't need to know my name.  I'm here to fix your tap.  This is an emergency plumbing job."


I can't squelch the giggle that rises up, and I answer: "Dude, it's been broken for three years.  I hardly think this qualifies as an emergency."


Which is when he loses it, throws a few more insults my way and storms off.  I pick up the phone to call my landlord and get her voicemail, so I leave her a message.  My voice is a little shaky, I'm kind of taken aback by what's just happened.  I tell her how rude the guy was simply because I questioned why he was there without warning.


She calls me right back, so I answer and I ask if she listened to my message.  She says yes, so I continue with: how rude was that?!


I should have seen it coming, but she blows up at me.  What's the big problem with him being there?!  I tell her I just wasn't expecting him, and all I did was question him and he blew up at me.  She starts yelling at me in the phone:  "But I left you a message!"  me: "Well I'm sorry, I didn't get your message" her: "You people are so annoying! You always have to throw fits" and more stupidities.  I've been living here for 6 years and have asked for maybe 3 repairs and 6 gallons of paint.  I've paid her over $45,000 in rent (shudder), but I'm annoying... Anyway.


She keeps yelling and she's completely irrational, I don't want to deal with her and I simply say: "I don't deserve this" and hang up.


Barry tries to call her back a few minutes later, because she's usually more respectful with him (just another reason why I hate her).  She tells him again: "You guys are so annoying", so he hangs up too, since all she's doing is screaming nonsense in his ear.


She calls back, but there's no way I'm picking up, so she leaves a message:  "We still need to get this fixed, so call me back when all parties are calm, so we can figure out when's a convenient time for you".  Emphasis on the convenient, extra sarcasm on top.  Her voice is super shaky still from being so far gone in her own head.  I thought it was funny she was telling us to calm down.  Whatevs.


So I wait until much later, and I leave her a message, asking if Monday at 10 would be a convenient time for her plumber.  Please confirm.  Monday morning comes around: no word.  I feel anxious as I watch the clock until it hits 10AM, but there's still no news.


At 10:15 the phone rings, and I answer, resolved to be calm, despite the fact that I already feel agitated.  I just know this isn't going to go well.  Within seconds, she starts in, and this is how our conversation went:


Princess: "I just want to know why it was such an issue for him to fix your tap on Saturday?"  
Me: I wasn't expecting him, that's all, and when I asked him..." she cuts me off: 
Princess: "But I left you a message"
Me: "Well I listened to your message, and you asked if you could come by Friday, and asked me to call you back.  I never got your message and didn't call you back, and you never said anything about Saturday."
Princess: "Well why did you have to make such a big deal then?"  getting irate.
Me: "But I didn't make a big deal.. You guys did."  So she loses it again and starts yelling some more.  I couldn't tell you what she yelled, because I instantly said: "OK Bye!" and hung up.

Parenting: Sending Clear Messages to Get Results

Pin It

I went to visit an old friend the other day, she has a three year old boy.  He's a cute little kid, but he doesn't listen, ever.  I wondered why, and then I witnessed this little exchange: five minutes to bedtime, he grabs an apple on the  table.  She tells him in a sweet tone "Noooo, it's too close to bedtime, you can't have an apple right now." He smiles and doesn't move.  She says: "I said no, bring it to me please"  So he smiles again and brings the apple to his mouth.  She says, a little more sternly: "Don't you take a bite of that apple!"  He giggles, takes a bite, and runs away.  She's obviously angry, but she turns to us and says: "Oh whatever, I don't feel like it."

I actually witnessed a few incidents along these lines during the day, but none so blatant as this one. I could not believe she would let him get away with this kind of behaviour.  If one of my children had tried to pull that, the apple would have been swiftly taken away and the child put directly to bed.  Do not pass go, do not collect $200 dollars.  I was incensed, and wanted to tell her that her inactions now would result in much bigger problems later.  That she was teaching him not only that he didn't have to listen to her, but on a much deeper level, that he doesn't have to listen to authority.

It's not that I'm an expert on parenting, far from it.  I can only tell you what has worked for me.  When the boys were about three and four, I did way too much yelling in a day.  There came a point where I couldn't even stand the sound of my own voice when I was screaming, and all it would ever get me was a headache.  I was not getting any results.

At my wit's end, I watched an episode of Super Nanny.  While I had been doing time outs, I discovered that I was doing them all wrong, had been giving my kids way too many warnings and following through way too little.

I implemented her suggestions, and started seeing real results within a week.  It required A LOT of effort, not letting them get away with anything meant I had to intervene often, and heard many tantrums in a short while, and believe me when I tell you that I didn't always "feel like it".

• First off, the kids were allowed only one warning.  (not the seven I had previously been giving them)  Not listening meant they would be sent directly to time-out.  
• Second,  while before I would argue and struggle to physically put the child on a chair, they now had to take their chair and go sit in the designated area.  Refusal to go to time out would result in more unpleasant consequences.  For both, being sent to their bedroom seemed to be the worse punishment possible at the time.
• Third, and I think this had been my biggest mistake, a timer was to be set, one minute for every year of age, and the child was to remain silent and seated for that period, or face longer time.  Before this, I would argue with him back and  forth the entire time, how dumb was I to be arguing with a four year old?  I restarted the timer on my oldest's several times before he started to understand that misbehaving was going to get him absolutely nowhere.   
• Finally, when the time was up, I'd go to the child, get down to their level, ask them if they were ready to apologize, and if they did, I'd ask them for a kiss and give them a big hug, sending them on their way with a "don't do it again".  If they refused to apologize, I'd ask if they needed more time, and walk away if they still didn't answer.  This would totally freak out my youngest... I'd come back one to two minutes later and start the process over again.  Super Nanny's tips were dead on, and pretty soon, the question: "Do you need a time-out?"  was often enough to calm them down.

Pure Rage: Anger Management Fail

Pin It Today I had a moment of pure rage, and it was directed at a 12 year old.


It certainly wasn't my best moment, but the dang idiot aimed his bike at my 4 year olds back and stopped an inch short of slamming in to him. 


I'm such a mama bear, I instantly shouted "What the heck are you doing?! Are you insane?!" (in French slang: Cossé tu fait là?!!! T'es-tu cinglé?!)


Little monster starts giving me attitude: "I didn't even hit him".


I wanted to clock him and told him to get away from there before I made it my mission to find his mother. Of course then some like 14? year old kids show up and they start goading him on, and he starts yelling dumb comments my way.


He was an ugly little fat kid, and all I wanted to do was destroy him, my anger having caused a rage in me so intense I was boiling.  Another side effect from dealing with bipolar disorder I suppose. Anger is probably my biggest trigger.


All evening I've been talking to him in my head, and even I can't believe how mean I am! }:o Oh the things I'd say to him, I have a quick toungue: I'd have him rolled up in a ball crying like a baby... I know, there's something wrong with me.


I think I'm having a hard time letting go because he goes to Tyler' school, and I'm a little worried this could cause problems for him there.


All I know is I truly hope no one ever tries to hurt my boys, cause I swear I'll be doing jail time.... ;)


How would you have reacted?  

Much love,

Felicia