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Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts

Monday, 12 January 2015

More new fashions and home decor from Felicianation Ink

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Busy busy creating, having a blast! Now to get to selling...

You can help by sharing this post or some of the products to your network!

Thank you! xx

PS: All designs by me with my original artwork  










Sunday, 1 September 2013

Sweet And Sour Cat Goes Splat

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What a title for a post, I know, but you gotta admit... it's funny as heck!
You see, my parents were out of town for the week-end, and it was up to me to go feed Bella the cat.

Ordinarily, Bella doesn't give a damn about me and won't even let me pet her, but whenever she's been alone for a while and come to feed her, she's all over me. So transparent. Sheesh.

Anyway, I tend to forget things, so when my parents asked, I was like sure no problem, but you know, feel free to text me.

So that morning I get a text that reads "Meow meow meow meow".

And then that night I get one that asks if the cat was alright. This of course really means "did you remember to feed the cat?"

So I respond and tell him of course she's fine, and Barry decides to send "don't believe a word she says, she microwaved the cat."

I instantly receive "I kill You!!! (achmed)"

And then Barry sends "we decided to make sweet and sour cat goes splat for dinner."

And my dad quips back with "we're going to save a lot of money at
Christmas"

We were like "What? We saved you some..."

More threats... And wishes of nightmares.

Barry ends it with "tell Diane her owl collection is wonderful."

That's it, I think I'm losing my key and my sister will be asked to feed the cat from now on!

I sure had a good laugh, hope they did too. I'm so lucky to have parents that are also great friends.

Much love,
Felicia

Friday, 30 August 2013

Yeah, So This Is Weird

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Lately I've been getting a lot of traffic from a foreign search engine.

I think it's called yandu or something. Anyway, I was curious, so I clicked the link, and was brought to a search of my URL on that engine.

What I found was rather strange...

I've discovered two anonymous comments so far that link to my website. The comment is totally random, and then it says feel free to visit my website, with a link pointing here. Spam comments. Comments I didn't make.

Worst part is, one of the comments is on a transgender website! Nice. That's just great for the rep... lol

Seriously though, how freaking weird is that? Who would leave random comments pointing to my blog?

More importantly, why?

Techie friends? Anyone?

Much love,
Felicia

Friday, 19 April 2013

Funny Friday: Our Tooth Fairy Has Been Hitting The Pixie Dust

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So it was a big week for losing teeth in this house: Tyler lost his two front teeth and Mickey lost his first tooth. (my baby is growing up so fast!)

Obviously, this means it was a big week for the Tooth Fairy also, and an expensive one!

Last time we'd lost a tooth, she never showed up to claim it, and I eventually just had to lie and tell Tyler I'd found the money stuck between the bed and the wall.

At the time, I lodged a formal complaint at fairy headquarters, and was assured that this kind of thing would never happen again.  This was our first chance to test that promise, and I really hoped she would be able to rise to the occasion,as this was a real opportunity for her to shine.

She did great on the first night, in and out without a peep, and I woke up to a smiling child proudly holding up his $2 coin.  My confidence restored, I really didn't worry on the second night, but then that fairy witch went and did it again!!!  When I saw the look of pure disappointment and utter sadness on my son's face, I was determined to have that fairy's job!  "I think that girl's been hitting the pixie dust too hard!!!" I thought to myself.  "Wait until I get a hold of her supervisor, she's toast!"  Having lost the number for fairy headquarters, I asked my Facebook friends if any of them might have it, and you will never guess what happened next...

It turns out I'm Facebook friends with the Tooth Fairy!!!  I was convinced she must have been out drinking, but it turns out she just spends too much time farming!
She was all apologetic and stuff, really trying to avoid another formal complaint.

I was like: "While I appreciate your apology, this does not fix my poor little boy's broken heart. You know, I covered for you, fed him some story about how too many kids lost their teeth this week, but this is unacceptable and it better not happen again."

Yadiyadida... She promised to show up that night and write him a note to apologize for the blunder.  She delivered on the showing up part, but completely spaced on the note.

I was not impressed,  but my son was happy, so I let it slide.

Since things always seem to happen in threes, two days later, Mickey loses a tooth during brunch.  I put the tooth aside and we continue our meal.  After we're done, I put everything away and wipe down the table.

This is when you can probably predict where this is going...

About two hours later, I realize I don't know where the tooth is.  Oh no, oh no, what are we going to do? He'll be crushed if we tell him!  I devise a plan where we'll write her a note, apologizing, that the tooth is somewhere in the house but that we can't find it.  I decide to wait out telling Mickey, just in case we find the tooth before bedtime.

So we're sitting at dinner, and a small piece of walnut falls from my salad on to the table.  I look at it and get all excited: "Barry!  Barry!  Look!!! A tooth!"  (It really is amazing how crushed up walnuts resemble human teeth.)

He looks at me, kind of skeptical, but he decides to go with it, for lack of a better plan.  So I tell Mickey to go get his little tooth holder he got from school.  He comes running back and is all "I want to put it in!!!"

I reluctantly hand it over, worried that he'll realize how soft it is.  He holds it up, examining it, and exclaims "Wow, that's a really nice tooth, huh?!" I tried to hide my laughter and agreed with him.

My first hurdle was over, but what would the Tooth Fairy think?  Would she notice the scam?  If she did, would she refuse it?  I was so worried.  It would break my heart if I woke up to Mickey's big puppy dog eyes floating with tears.

Thankfully, she came by and accepted the walnut.  She left a note,  but it wasn't for Mickey; it was for me.

"I figured I owed you one" was all she wrote.

You know, she may be a little loopy, but maybe she isn't that bad of a Tooth Fairy after all.

Wink Wink









Tuesday, 26 March 2013

Donald Trump Just Gets Weirder With Age

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One of my favorite things to do is catch up on the "weird news" column on Canoe.ca

They collect strange news stories from around the world, and this is one of the weirdest I've seen in a long time.

Donald Trump maintains lawsuit against Bill Maher for his bet - Weird News - Canoe.ca

It seems Bill Maher made some joke about offering 5 Million dollars to the charity of Donald Trumps choice if he would provide a copy of his birth certificate proving that his father was not an ape.  The Don apparently decided to take this seriously, and provided his birth certificate, but is upset because Maher refuses to pay up.

He filed a lawsuit in California last month and Trump says it will be up to the courts to decide whether or not it was a joke.

How can someone supposedly so smart be so dumb? 

Does he mean to tell me that he thinks Bill Maher was actually convinced that Donald Trump's father was an ape?  Are we to believe that he doesn't know full well that this was a satirical comment meant to poke fun at the request Trump made to see Obama's birth certificate?

It seems to me that this is a bully's attempt at silencing free speech.  I, for one, love Bill Maher, and I sure hope he wins this case, because I will be seriously discouraged if he doesn't!

What do you think?



Friday, 22 March 2013

Funny Fridays: Facebook Is Getting Desperate

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This week's funny Friday comes to you directly from my own Facebook news feed:


It seems Facebook is no longer content telling you everything your friends are doing, now they want to be sure you know everything they aren't doing!

I'm not sure I like the idea of Facebook telling everyone all the things I'm not doing...


Gasp!!! Can you imagine?!



Much love,
Felicia

Monday, 25 February 2013

Monday

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A little dark humor for you:  Just another day in the office.


;)

Friday, 15 February 2013

Funny Fridays: A Poem

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To celebrate Friday this week, I not only "painted" you a picture, but I even went all out and wrote you a poem.

"Smile, it's Friday" Painting on iPad by Felicia-May Stevenson

Another week has come and gone
All the work is finally done 
No more sitting on the bus
The weekend is upon us
Today's gonna be a great day
Because today is funny Friday!!!

Yayyyyyyyy Friday!!!!

Ps: I use the term "painted" lightly, as this image was created by using Art Studio for iPad, the best app a digital artist could ever ask for.  The best part?  There's no clean-up after I'm done.

Thursday, 31 January 2013

Damn You Facebook By Annah Rondon

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If you don't know who Annah Rondon is, then you should definitely check out her blog at Red Means Go.

This Cuban girl writes it as she sees it and keeps the masses entertained with stories of her escapades as a single woman, her wildly funny views on life, and her ever amusing illustrations.

Her personality shines through her work and is really what hooks you and keeps you coming back for more.

"Damn You, Facebook" is the budding author's first attempt at self-publishing, and while the book could use some polishing, it is light and very entertaining, even causing a few "Laugh Out Loud" moments.

Her signature style doesn't disappoint, and I'd say that for $1.98, this book had less calories than a bag of chips, and left me feeling more satisfied.

  

Monday, 28 January 2013

Spambots and Captchas

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I hate captchas.  If you don't know what captchas are, they are those annoying letters and numbers you have to copy correctly to prove you're not a spambot (spam robot) before you can comment on a blog post.

I usually surf blogs from my iPad, which just makes copying captchas even harder, because they are so hard to see.

"Please prove that you're not a computer."  I'm not a computer, but apparently, I'm blind.

Sometimes I write this really clever comment, and then after 3 or 4 unsuccessful attempts at posting, I get discouraged and leave the site.

A friend of mine who recently started blogging was using the dreaded captchas, so I asked him nicely to disable them.  He mentioned that he used to have a lot of issues with spammers, but I was all "No, no, Bloggers spam filter is really good.  They go directly to spam, never actually get published!"

Well!

It's like Murphy himself heard me and decided it was a great time to apply his law.  Suddenly, I'm receiving tons of spam comments, and they are actually getting through the spam filter.

The worse part is the repetitive nature of the comments:

"Great post! I've been looking for this information for days, and you really hit the nail on the head with this one.  Also, please visit my website... something cigarettes.com"

Some are even insulting:

"Is it just me or do some of the comments on this post sound like they're coming from brain dead people? :)-  Also, please visit my site... something money solutions .com."

"There is very a lot of good infomation on this website, but you should realy check you're speling, as you make lot of mistakes.  Also, please visit my site: casino something .com."

Haha! Thanks for the tip.

So now I don't know what to do.  I want people to be able to post anonymously to my blog.  I don't want to force people to log in or reveal themselves.  Some of my posts are about depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder, I want my readers to feel free to write what they are really feeling, without fear of retribution.

So I suppose I'll keep things as is for now, but if you see a spambot comment, rest assured, it will be deleted soon.

What do you do to avoid both the dreaded captchas and the dreaded spambot?

Thursday, 3 January 2013

Toothaches

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I've had a toothache since Monday.

Here, I drew you a picture.



Much love,
Felicia

Friday, 21 December 2012

Funny Fridays: Best Autocorrect captions of 2012

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This funny Friday is brought to you by buzzfeed.com, which has comprised a list of the 25 funniest autocorrect malfunctions of 2012.

I should warn you not to read these while you are alone in public, people might mistake you for a drunken idiot. 


This was just one of my favorites.  Be sure to catch the whole list here.

Oh, and thanks Buzzfeed.  That was awesome.

Friday, 30 November 2012

Funny Friday: Jealousy

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A recurring subject of late has been jealousy.  There's so much I'd like to say on the subject, but I'm more in a "I want to draw" phase than a "I want to write" phase, so I made you an image to tide you over until I get my butt in gear.

Every one needs to stop looking at what their neighbor's doing or has, and learn to appreciate their own blessings.

Much love,
Felicia

Wednesday, 21 November 2012

Thought Provoking Quote

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(Some people cause happiness wherever they go.
Others... Whenever they go)
It's not that hard to be nice, and it feels good.

Hold a door for someone.  Smile at a stranger.  Treat the cashier like she's a real person.  Let someone into your lane on the road, or wave to thank the person who just did it for you.  It only takes a second, and it's good for Karma.

So which of these do you want to be?

PS: In case you were wondering, I "painted" this image using Art Studio for iPad).

Friday, 16 November 2012

Yeah, That Happened To Me Today

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It's been a bad day all around. 

I forgot to take my meds last night, and I only thought about it at like three AM, as I was laying in bed asking myself why the heck I couldn't get to sleep.

My mind was racing, but my body was crashed, as I lay there in a state of semi-consciousness, unable to muster the energy to go downstairs and take the pills, yet still unable to get the old brain to shut down.  I eventually convinced myself that it was best if I just skipped them, as I would have had a very hard time waking up with the kids a mere four hours later.

So instead, I lay there all night, coming in and out of sleep in bouts of fifteen to twenty minutes, until I awoke definitively at seven, a full half hour before the alarm was set to go off.

I tried to nap this afternoon, but the same pattern ensued, and I got up out of annoyance.  I had nausea and felt light headed this afternoon, and ended up ordering pizza, because I just couldn't bring myself to cook for the kids.

I've been weepy and anxious these past few days, as the date of my return to work looms in the near future.  A future which is uncertain at the moment... and that threatens the delicate balance I have achieved.

But do you want to know what really prompted this post, which is being written at well past midnight, after I have taken my meds and should be heading for bed?

I was walking by the computer and this happened:


Like I said, it's been a bad day.  Damn you Seroquel and your double edged sword.  You make me feel better but make me gain weight, which makes me very unhappy.  Do you see how this circle is doomed?

One good thing worth noting: I got a crazy kiss attack from the kids right before I put them to bed.  That brightens any gloomy day.

Well that's it folks.  Time for this felicianating girl to hit the sack.  

Felicianating... I think I'm tired... tee hee.


Friday, 9 November 2012

Funny Fridays: Stuck In A Stinky Situation

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Picture from a website with ways to get rid of the smell.
So this funny friday post pokes fun at me.

Mere moments ago, I was sitting on my front porch smoking a cigarette, completely absorbed in my iPad, when I heard the sound of leaves rustling. I looked up just as a creature popped out from under my stairs. 

At first, I was convinced that it was the black and white cat that walks the neighborhood all the time, but...

Um, no. I was staring at a real life Pepé Le Pew.

You know what? I'm a big fan of cartoon Pepé. He's very cool, but I've never really wanted to meet him in person.

How did I not smell him?!

So I freeze, and Pepé stares back. He's not moving either. "What do I do?" I wonder, since getting up and trying to head for the door might scare it, and I'd have to cross the stairs. I can't breathe, and I say a quick prayer that he doesn't decide to come up the steps.

I'm trapped.

He loses interest, turns around and saunters right back under my porch.  

Noooo!  Now I have no way of knowing if he actually left!  It's garbage day tomorrow, and they are always here bright and early, so it's imperative that I take it to the curb before I go to bed.

I took the opportunity to get back in the house, but I was sooo worried that I would scare him and he would spray under the porch... Wouldn't that be lovely?

Worse thing is, if he's still there, he could end up blocking the stairs, and I could end up stuck like a frozen turkey being held hostage by a skunk.

In other news...

This lovely creature is my new porch kitty.  He loves cuddles and purrs loudly. He gives me big head butts and shows up every morning around 8AM and leaves us at night around 9PM.  He wears a little bell around his neck, so you always know when he's around.  He reminds me of my dearly departed cat Simba, and I'm always happy to see him show up.  I'm not allowed pets here, but porch kitty gives me all of the perks with none of the drawbacks.  Except missing him on days his mom doesn't let him out to play.

Porch kitty rocks, but porch skunky is way more than I bargained for.

Monday, 22 October 2012

Romney Promises To Kill Sesame Street

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 This upcoming Presidential Election for the US has to be one of the most important in history.

I'm not even American, and I feel deeply invested in the outcome of the american people's votes this November.

You may have already read my article on Romey's views on abortion.

Let's talk about his promise during the first debate to cut all "superfluous" expenses by the federal government including PBS.

I can't help but think that his means the arts, music, and programs that help the poor and the sick.

You know, useless programs.


Sometimes, I crack myself up:

No, but really:  Think about it.

#TeamObama 
Felicia

Friday, 19 October 2012

Funny Fridays: Dirty Old Men

Pin It Today's Funny Friday is brought to you by cheezburger.com

Creepers!!!


I thought this was especially funny, because as a younger woman I always took it in jest when a much older man made comments or flirted with me.  Until the day my boyfriend made me realize that they were serious and would get in my pants if given the chance... ugh.  The thought still sends chills down my spine, as I recall certain conversations!!!

Haha!
Much Love,
Felicia

Sunday, 7 October 2012

5 Things You Didn't Know About Your Birthday

Pin It In honor of my birthday today, I though I'd share with you little known facts about birthdays in general.

Did you know that...

1. You can use "but it's my birthday" as an excuse for almost any behavior.

2. If you wake up early enough and are very quiet, you might catch a glimpse of a unicorn in your back yard.

3. You can also use #1 to get people to do your bidding... Sometimes.

4. I can't think of a #4. #3 was pretty cool though, no?

Of course, I've kept the best unknown fact about birthdays for last:

5. All food magically has no calories, so you can have your cake and eat it too.

For more on birthdays, visit last year's post: 5 Reasons Why Birthdays Rock!

;)
Much love,
Felicia

Friday, 5 October 2012

Funny Fridays: Parenting Fail

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LOL! Does this make me a bad parent?



(I take my kids on a lot of car rides. Because it's the only place I can strap them down without it looking like child abuse.)

HaHa!
Much love,
Felicia :)