Life is being good to me right now, and everything seems to be turning up Felicia. I touch wood as I write those words, because I feel like if I'm too happy, something's bound to come along and ruin it.
Silly, I know, but still, I really had no idea it was possible to be this happy in life. At least, I had no idea it was possible for me.
It has been a long journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance. Getting older has also made me somewhat wiser, and I look at problems with a different eye now. Life just always seems to work itself out, so I figure that if I just keep on trucking, I'll make it to where I want to be one of these days.
And if I don't? At least I'll be able to say that I gave it my best shot.
Things just keep happening for me lately though, and I'm so excited by all the opportunities coming my way. It's going to be a very busy and productive summer!
I feel so empowered, like I really am the master of my own destiny. My business advisor recently said to me in reference to my personal shopping and assistance service, that while she can't guarantee that it will work out, she does have complete faith in me, my abilities, my creativity and my intelligence.
She told me this on a day when I was feeling insecure about my ventures, wondering if I was doing the right thing, putting my family at risk. Her words touched me deep inside, and I told her to stop as I was tearing up, but it was exactly what I needed to hear, and gave me the boost I desperately needed.
Then I was approached by a photographer while I was at face painting contract, asking if I'd be interested in posing for him and for classes he teaches, telling me he really really hopes I'll call. Completely out of left field, I would have died laughing if you'd told me this was going to happen, but hey, he said it paid cash and there was no nudity, so I called.
I met with him today, and we had our first photo shoot. I was honestly scared shitless, excuse my French. I mean, call me a paranoid freak but I don't know this man from Adam, and he seemed sooooo eager to work with me, and I know this part really isn't his fault, but he bears a really strong resemblance to one of the villains on Dexter!
He had given me his card, with his website, but it still wasn't really enough to calm my jitters. I wondered, is this a real website, or is this just the site you set up to lure women? I went there today honestly thinking there was a possibility I would turn up dead in the woods. I left the address and the phone number on the oven before I left, and texted the guy's plate number and car make to Barry when he pulled up. It's okay if you're laughing, I think it's kind of funny too. This world has made me very very cautious. Hey, rather safe than sorry.
He pushed me far out of my comfort zone during the shoot. "Lift the skirt a little higher", "no, higher". I felt powerful though, because I said no when asked again. "It's as high as it's going to get."
I've seen the kind of photography he does, I get what he's going for, but I am of the opinion that you can do edgy, sexy and/or sensual without showing any underwear, and that's the way it's going to be! We talked, getting to know each other, and as I relaxed, I admitted that several people knew where I was, and that I could still kick him and run if I needed to. I laughed when I said it, but believe me, I would have if I felt it was necessary!
I walked out of there feeling strong. Powerful. In charge. It doesn't pay that much, but I get to keep all of my photographs, and he seems to think that we could make good money together, possibly sell my pictures. I don't know what to think, I'm still kind of reserving judgement, but it did help ease my angst when I did a bit more research on the net and found pics of him actually giving the workshops, and various photography blogs with posts on their new found knowledge and experiences through his classes. He seems to be legit.
I don't know where this new adventure will lead, but dang, it could be a really fun ride!
Ps: I'll share pics when I have some!
Pps: that pic is of a beautiful little girl I recently had the honor of painting.