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Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Depression, Anxiety and Other Fun Stuff

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It's been a rough week.  

I'm still looking for a house to rent for April 1.  With the date fast approaching, I'm feeling more anxious and stressed by the minute.  The market is small, and getting ourselves approved has not been the easiest thing.  We are waiting on some news for one very nice house, but it's been such a long process from start to finish that I find myself losing hope that we`ll get it.  I'm trying to remain positive, but combined with the following, it's got me feeling pretty down.

The Bipolar Circuit has been tough on my emotions as well...  

Since  becoming  a blogger, I've met several wonderful like minded beings, and have been in "close" contact with them either through our blogs or twitter (as close as one can be through the internet).

This week, three of these wonderful people talked about killing themselves.

  • One has been admitted to hospital and is undergoing ECT (Electro Convulsive Disorder).  I'm terrified for her.  I don't know much about it and can't stop thinking about her and how she must be doing.  There have  been no communications since she was admitted.
  • One disappeared off of Twitter 7 days ago after hinting that she was going to end it, and posted 2 days ago that she was going to kill herself.  The post was soon removed and all that remains is an empty post and silence.  A common twitter friend who knows her called the police, but he doesn't know enough to be kept in the loop.  So I don't know if she's alive, if the police went to her house, if she's in the hospital or if she's just dead.  The worry and not knowing is killing me.  If you're reading sweetie, please don't hurt yourself, and please let me know you're breathing.
  • And now one is waiting to find out if she has a fatal disease and is hoping she does, so that she can die without having to commit the act.

I've been there ladies.  I know what you're going through.  I'm worried about you.  I think about you.

I care about you.

Read my first post on suicide, I hope it helps to ease your pain, or take your mind off your troubles.

Or at least see that you are not alone.

I'm praying for you,
Much Love, 


  1. I hope that things begin to get easier for you (and fall into place for the housing situation).
    I also hope that the three fellow blogger/twitter friends have been in touch with you to let you know that they are still here. Reading your post made me realise more keenly how the important online community is. And this even more so probably because I am in a similar position to one of the three friends right now.
    Thank you for your writing.
    Here's to a week that's not so rough!

  2. Thank you for your kind words. I haven't heard anything, but at least know that the police made it to her house that night. I'm hoping she's getting help and feeling better.

    And I hope you feel better too. Take care xx

  3. I'm sorry to hear about your friend and all of those who feel this kind of pain. My prayers are with you all.

    Thanks for sharing because just posting about this shows you care and they are all lucky to have you as a friend.

    If you have any ideas of how others can help to show them we care do let us know.

  4. Thank you for sharing your story and I hope that all are going to be ok. I just wanted to share a website I came across, , that offers information about treating the symptoms of bipolar. Hope this is helpful for others that are suffering from bipolar.

  5. Thanks Angie. I still have not heard or seen any activity from one of the girls, but I'm hopeful that she is ok. I did sign my lease tonight, so that is a big relief. Now to get this move over with :(

  6. Hi Felicia, I'm still relatively new to Blogging. In fact, you're actually the first (of many, I hope) Bloggers I'm reaching out to in the nearby future. As someone suffering from Depression, suicidal thoughts and misdiagnosed with Bipolar (later corrected as Asperger's and OCD), I think I can understand what you're going through. Thank you so much for your relentless honesty in depicting your story and feelings on your blog. As any sufferer knows, the best and most invaluable medicine is to be offered the helping hand of someone who's been there before. I appreciate posts like yours and can't wait to read more!