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Tuesday, 16 October 2012

Slow Progress is Progress

Pin It Ah what a journey this thing called life is.

Sometimes I get discouraged because although I see my pageviews rising, I still get very little comments on my posts.  Few people tweet or share my posts.  The comments I do get are very encouraging, but sometimes they are so few and far between that I get discouraged.

Recently I saw a tweet or a pin or something that read something along the lines of "it's easy to forget that slow progress is still progress."

The words hit home with me, and I have been trying to keep my chin up by reminding myself of all of the (small) progress I have made since I suffered a total burnout almost 2 years ago now.

1.  We recently painted my office, and as an exercise in visualization, I have decided to create a sign with Felicianation on it.  I hope it serves to remind me of what I'm trying to achieve, and to help me keep focus.  Pics of the completed office to come, it's still a work in progress!

2.  I finally took the kids to the dentist, and it went great.  I had a lot of anxiety about the visit because I was afraid the dentist would give me crap for waiting so long, and not being able to afford the co-pay for my insurance right now. I know it's dumb, but it's the honest truth.  The thought of it gave me heart palpitations, but the seroquel seems to be helping with the anxiety and I was able to get over myself.  I'm very happy to have this done, it was a source of great anguish for me, torn between doing the right thing for my kids and crippled by unrational fears.

3.  I am also finally seeing a speech therapist with my youngest, but that isn't totally my fault as I requested the service at least one year ago.  Way to go Quebec health care.  He is also making slow progress, but his difficulties have been rated as moderate to severe, so this may take a while... but slow progress is progress and someday this will all just be a memory.

4. The blog is progressing slowly, partly my fault as I fail to be regular... but that's the story of my life I guess, I'm just not a regular person.  I have been trying hard to be more focused lately, and it has been slowly paying off as I have had at least 5 new followers in recent weeks.  Now to make that 5000.

5. I recently purchased a new car, so I no longer have to feel anxious about driving my old beat-up Sunfire anymore (though I loved her so.)

6. I'm being very good about taking my meds, and the Seroquel actually seems to be helping a little bit.  My anxiety attacks have diminished.

7. I have cut back on Pepsi dramatically, going from 6-7 glasses a day to now just one and maybe even none.  This has the added bonus of greatly reducing my caloric intake, not to mention all the sugar and carbs.  The juice I've been drinking instead contains about half of all the bad stuff Pepsi does, and my psychiatrist would be overjoyed to know that I don't have a river of caffeine running through my veins anymore.

Sometimes it helps me to remind myself of the good stuff that's happening, as I tend to focus on the negative too much.


  1. I know what you mean about lack of comments. I'm taking a blog break personally. I wanted to chime in to say that I too am on Seroquel (600mg). It has taken the edge off for me too. It took a while though. My dose slowly increased over several weeks. Congrats on the new car and painting the office and yay for speech therapy. I always look forward to reading your words!

  2. Thank you Pam. I miss your writing... I hope this isn't a forever break!

  3. Hey...
    I only have 3 followers (that's probably a good thing.) I tried Seroquel too but it was not good for me.
    Pam I hope you go back to your blog too!

    Keep your chin up girls

  4. Felicia. I check your blog out fairly frequently - I enjoy being able to keep as many connections to Quebec as I can - so I really hope that you don't feel too discouraged. The thing I enjoy most about your blog is reading about your experiences with depression and bi polar disorder. I find that it is some of the most affecting writing you do, and it feels relate-able to me because of my own struggles with depression and seeing one of my closest friends deal with manic depression and the subsequent testing and experiences with different prescription drugs she had. The best thing I think you can do for your blog, I think is to keep going with this. The best and most successful blogs are the ones which fit a niche which people find interesting, and I feel as though the way that you write about your experiences is genuine and unique. It fascinates me to learn about how you cope and feel and moreover I feel compelled to learn more about something which seems to have stricken a lot of important people in my life.

    Please keep writing.

  5. Thank you so much for your comments, they always do me good. Gaby, I truly appreciate all you've said, and will address your comment more in an up-coming post. Again, thank you.